RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Memberwell your safety is important to us here. we love and care for you Nell

not being able to speak to your psychologist could also be playing abit of havoc as its upset your sort of routine- the knowledge that you have a regular appointment that is. i hope that on monday with abit more support and 'normality' you might settle a little more

Thanks @MDT

@Faith-and-HopeI have Izzy right next to me now, she has helped a lot of times

@outlanderyea, just have to get through till Monday. I wrote down everything I need to discuss and it is a long list take me about 5 seesions to get through it all

one or two things at a time @Former-Member for now, breathe.... get through the nights, distract yourself and find those little moments of joy

@outlanderall I keep thinking is two more nights. I feel like all I have done lately is use my safety plan day in day out. I am exhuasted just trying to keep all the SI thoughts at bay. Life has to be easier than this doesn't it?

yes @Former-Member i believe there is more to life than this, im not sure where but it has to be out there somewhere. if that is keeping you safe then im glad thats what your doing. i really do care about you Nell, you really are like a sister to me.

the suicidal thoughts, i dont know if they really ever leave tbh, i think they jsut quiet down for a time like when we are amused with something so we arent focussed on what we are really feeling.

thats proabably not very helpful to you sorry

@outlander I certainly hope there is hun. You are important to me too.

No I don't think those thoughts do go away, I think they just simmer away and bubble to the surface and test every part of your coping strategy.

@outlanderlets just leave it there for tonight. If I keep talking about myself I am scared of what I will do.

Thanks for listening, you too @Faith-and-Hope I know you are both there if I need you and that is comforting to know.

Lets just change the topic, to one of you!! or something else

alright @Former-Member whats there to talk about then? whats a safe topic for you