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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
ok @outlander, bummer you had to but I guess better than driving over at 4 something in the morning. Least they have gone to sleep so you can have some time to yourself now. 
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Yeah i wasnt getting up that early @Former-Member not that i sleep anyway. It is very quiet but i also feel uncomfortable here. All well only a few hrs to go.
Then i can get back to regular pain meds too. If i hadve brought my meds with me well u already know what wouldve happened so havent had pain relief nearly all day as i can only take it at night
Then i can get back to regular pain meds too. If i hadve brought my meds with me well u already know what wouldve happened so havent had pain relief nearly all day as i can only take it at night
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Sorry dont mind me.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
don't mind you? @outlander
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Rambling on @Former-Member
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@outlanderif you are referring to what you have written and then what I am curently going through then you need to stop that thought. I am here to support you regardless of what is happening in my life atm. It actually helps b/c I take my mind off what I really want to do and focus's my mind on you or others.
So let it out if that helps
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
This is your thread @Former-Member I know what your already going to say. But this is your safe place and you dont need my word vomit all over the place
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@outlanderfirstly what you are saying is not "word vomit" and it is not my thread.
Yes it is where I feel safest and where I write the most BUT anyone can post here and that it fine by me.
Plus you are my sis, what is mine is yours!
You can write what ever you need to on here sweetie, I DO NOT mind in the slightest
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
I already knew that was coming ❤ @Former-Member
I know. Ijust dont know if i can. Atm the pain im in is bad and is actually causing neck swelling and making even liquids unenjoyable. Im worried if i let it out it bring me unstuck again and make rhe pain worse- the mire upset i am the worse the pain gets.
Im going on 3 days straight with no sleep again well tonight utll be 4 so i know thats not helping either. Ive had lìke minimum 4 mini meltdowns today where ive either collapsed at work or been a right mess at home. I need a break from it all including myself. Im a tired sour puss.
The other day i havent meantioned it here yet but i went to my gp and go scripts plus the too young talking too and my gp has advised me to either not horse ride or limit my riding. I realised just how low ive gotten considering i cant even go near my riding gear anymore. It use to be in my room but i took it out and i can barely go near it without being anxious but at the same time there is that longing there. Ive ridden since before i could walk and i mean that as ive got pics with me on a horse before i could walk. I wanted to ride again but i dont really know anymore. My gp is instilling more fear yet she wont order scans.
I hate that something i was so passionate about has faded so much that it has come to this point. I can only blame myself for not getting back on in the first place
I know. Ijust dont know if i can. Atm the pain im in is bad and is actually causing neck swelling and making even liquids unenjoyable. Im worried if i let it out it bring me unstuck again and make rhe pain worse- the mire upset i am the worse the pain gets.
Im going on 3 days straight with no sleep again well tonight utll be 4 so i know thats not helping either. Ive had lìke minimum 4 mini meltdowns today where ive either collapsed at work or been a right mess at home. I need a break from it all including myself. Im a tired sour puss.
The other day i havent meantioned it here yet but i went to my gp and go scripts plus the too young talking too and my gp has advised me to either not horse ride or limit my riding. I realised just how low ive gotten considering i cant even go near my riding gear anymore. It use to be in my room but i took it out and i can barely go near it without being anxious but at the same time there is that longing there. Ive ridden since before i could walk and i mean that as ive got pics with me on a horse before i could walk. I wanted to ride again but i dont really know anymore. My gp is instilling more fear yet she wont order scans.
I hate that something i was so passionate about has faded so much that it has come to this point. I can only blame myself for not getting back on in the first place
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@outlanderI am super sorry that you are going through all of this.
The pain you are in must be so debilertating and I am sorry I don't have the answer for you, nut if staying calm will help then we can try to do that together.
I understand the passion you have and fearing you cannot do it again, it is like that for me and teaching. But never say never hun. We do not know what our future looks like. And as hard as it is to even see a future atm, I have to believe that it is better than what I am going through now.
