RE: Darkness surrounds me

Hey @Former-Member @Sans911 @outlander. I did remove the post. It seems like you know why. We are not wanting to stop people telling their own story or share their own experiences :).

I am just going to write what I posted here:

Well @Sans911 as I said I thought it was lovely!

And you are right, I know I have to face this and I guess that sooner rather than later is better. I also am trying to put myself in his shoes too. If he went through something like this then I would want to know so I could support him. I have to remember that.

I know it wasn't my fault even though I have enormous blame and guilt associated with it, but this is not the time or place to go into detail with that.

I have been with my husband since I was 16, and I think one of the hardest things is that he knew the person that did this to me, even though it was over by the time I was 11. I hope he does not ask who it was, but I am sure he will.

I spoke to my psychologist this afternoon who helped a bit and also spoke to SANE this afternoon which helped because I didn't have to explain everything again, they could just look up what i had been writing.

I still want to get in my car and disappear but I have made a pact with myself to go through with it.

I am going to try and stay safe tonight and hopefully make it to 3pm tomorrow (time of psych session).

@outlander@Shaz51

Hey @Former-Member @Sans911 @outlander - i'll send an email to you to explain 🙂

thanks @Former-Member, I just hope what I wrote was ok then.

@Former-Member i dont get the second post either?

can you please tell us why it was removed?

@Former-Member

blame guilt, shame, embarrassment, avoidance, fear.... all sounding familar to you in regards to this. i know and understand it all as does @Sans911 we have both been through it and it was more than once for me too and it was from someone i trusted.

as you said we can hold each up as well as our lovely family memebers here while we get through this s**t. youve got this. even though its going to be extremely hard but as Sans said your hubby will kepe asking you and will probably make you feel more stressed.

you dont have to say who it was that did that ok, there is no pressure at all and im hoping your hubby will respect that as well. your psychologist is there to help you through this too ok and you have all of SANE right there with you unless of course thats too overwhelming then you can jsut pick a few of us to be 'there' with you ok

sending you heaps of hugs, we are here for you

thanks @Former-Member your psot only jsut came through

wow @Sans911 its like taken its entire meaning!

i hope my post stays up to now that ive posted!