RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Former-Member I am sure that is the case. I need to find a decent psychologist .... take 2 'brilliant'

Flagged it @Former-Member .....

@Faith-and-Hope can I ask what your experience has been with psychiatrists and psychologists? Has it been a positive experience?

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope I knew you would understand

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member, I hope the forums are feeling safe.

I really appreciate the community spirit I'm seeing here and offering support to others when needed. Remembering you can reach out to mods either by email or using to mod function if you are feeling unsafe.

There's always someone floating around, I like floating

Thanks @Former-Member

After 6 years of trying to battle through, and trying everything I could to flag down help, I went to a psychologistjust to be able to tell someone what was going on for us @Bunniekins ..... and although he couldn’t make a difference to our situation, it meant so much to be heard, and believed, and validated in terms of how I was managing the whole muddle.

We now have a psychiatrist involved with one of our kidults .... and he made a dramatic change to our situation very quickly by telling Mr f&h that he was being far to controlling and had to stop it. It’s clear this pdoc hasn’t yet seen / understood the rest of the muddle from our perspective, and it seems that the kidult has not been able to validate some I what I was trying to communicate - I don’t know why but I can’t make a difference in that direction at all right now, so I am sitting on my hands and waiting for the bigger picture to emerge as they work deeper into our family and hear from the other kidults .....

Meantime Mr f&h and I have been sent off for couples counselling with another psychologist ..... the pdoc believing that that is where the trouble is stemming from .... meanwhile Mr f&h’s e.d. is not on the table yet .... and that appears to have been what started everything falling over in the first place .... but maybe not. He may have something else going on that triggered the e.d.in the first place .....

So far I am comfortable with the couples counsellor ..... haven’t been with the pdoc at all ..... but I believe he is misreading me and the situation over all ..... and I have had very little to do with him around the kidult anyway .... and that might just be incompatibility between him and me anyway in terms of personalities, which happens.

How is that ? Clear as mud ?

I hope something in there is useful to you. It’s easier to just say “it’s complicated” .....

@Faith-and-Hope Woah! 'Clear as mud' is right. Don't you love it when your child becomes a kidult (love that) and they are in trouble and you have no rights in re getting medical or otherwise information on their welfare.

I have a son with a awray of disabilities and even he at times is asked the most ludicrous questions which he just looks at me and I say to the doctors you better ask me that as my son will not be able to answer.

As for marriage counselling *pfttt!* I had a real dud who was totally pro my ex so that was a fizzer. I love being divorced my marriage was dead in any case.

I am not prepared to give up till I have given everything my best sh-ot @Bunniekins ..... and it’s not until we get to the bottom of everything and get treatments in place that we will actually start to see what we have got left ..... wasn’t sure I would be able to hold it together this far though ..... and if the therapists don’t help me hold it together, I don’t think I am going to be able to take one more step on my own .....

I am sooo done ..... just taking each day as it comes, and sometimes hour by hour .....

@Faith-and-Hope I hear real strength in your voice ... a real toughness, determination.I bet your are done, you must be exhausted both physically and mentally. That strength I hear though tells me there is more fight in you left ... good on you for not giving up.

I always tell my children not to give up. It is a good motto to live by. Reminds me of a saying I heard once ' Stand up, shoulders back, wipe those tears, get back on track, smile, wave, wink with class then tell them all to kiss your ****'.