RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Faith-and-Hope I realised I forgot to answer your question. I have spoken to my psychiatrist already. He wants me to try and keep on these meds but definitely not helping with all the side effects I am having and the increase in SH and SI. Too far gone for ice but have been using my safety plan. Just going minute by minute.

I hope you are feeling a bit better with your cold/virus.

I haven't tagged anyone because I just don't care anymore

I am so sleepy but just cannot sleep. And even though I slept through the night with the help of meds, I feel no better. But it didn't stop the nightmares from invading my head this morning. I don't want to play this game anymore. I am angry at everyone and taking it out on the people I am meant to love. It's not fair on them anymore and even though they try to, they don't understand. No one does. I don't know if its the meds or what but the pdoc wants me to stay on them, but I just don't see the point. The pain in my head descends through my whole body, there are no more tears to cry and now I just feel nothing.

@Sans911Ive tried to get into pdoc but I can't. I have got an app with GP later today if I can get to it. Well I don't care what happens to me anymore Sans. I just know I don't want to feel like this anymore and it's just way too hard.

@Sans911 @Faith-and-HopeThanks for your words. My thoughts are just so intense now and so hard to ignore. I'm trying to stop but just can't and so scared of what will happen. I don't want to hurt anyone and put my pain onto them. I'm sorry, I know you have both got your own struggles today. This makes me feel so seflish