RE: Darkness surrounds me

@Sans911 I'll give them a call now. Please don't feel you have to wait up for me. You need sleep too. Thanks for you help tonight @Sans911. 💗💗💗

@Former-Member Hi NellBell ... I hope you are sleeping soundly and safely xx. I am sure hubby can look after the children this morning.

I went through a very similar experience about 6 years ago, when I had to move from a very metroplotian city to a more rural area for work (and had a great deal of social isolation). I approached a elder in my faith community. In our faith we believe in the duality of life. You cannot have positive without negative or life without death. I wanted to know why God had deserted me to such a place of darkness.

He suggested that the greater the darkness we see, the greater the light there has to be. Its our task to find that light and in trying to do that we will undoubtedly grow. So while it may seem like being surrouded by darkness is a curse, when you come through it AND YOU WILL, you will realise the tremendous growing experience it has been for you.

For me it has given me a greater sense of self-reliance in that I know that I can be in the most difficult of external situiationsbut still be able to reach the light, because that is all that is within me. So your concern about "people in your life" who "betray" you. You're looking in the wrong place. Look within yourself and you will find complete strength there and it will be what you can count on, becuase what's inside is the only thing that's real

Hi @Sans911

sorry if you stayed up because of me. I just couldn't come back on, I just needed to try and process it all. Thanks for you help last night. I spoke to SCBC twice during the night. They were good and helped me just work out all the thoughts in my head. I felt a bit more calm after speaking to them. I still have alot of suicide thoughts but feel safer and better knowing they are just thoughts, they are scary yes, but I can control them and do not have to act on them. They didn't tell me anything I hadn't heard before, I guess just hearing someone tell me again helped. So for today I am ok. I have an app. with the psychiatrist at 3pm this afternoon so will just try and get some rest before I have to drive there.

Again, thank you hun. I hope you are ok today. ❤💜❤💜

@BunniekinsHi my little pea - I am ok thanks. Hope you got some good sleep last night. ❤💚❤💚

Hi @outlander, yea rough night but made it through. How are you going today?

Thanks @AshleyF for your kind words. I hope you are going well.