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RE: Darkness surrounds me
6693 replies
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Former-Member
mind you she has lived with me for 12 years rent free b/c they invested money and lost it and lost their house, BUT I am the one that doesn't care
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
oh wow... that is a long time she is very lucky to have you... even if she isnt seeing that... @Former-Member
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Ok @Former-Member @Sans911 @Faith-and-Hope
Thanks for listening to me vent, just needed to get it off my chest. Normally I just keep it inside me, but she just tipped me over the edge this afternoon. I need to try and calm down and implement my safety plan, before I do any real damage to myself 
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
sounds like a good idea, to use your safety plan etc. well done for being proactive and realising when you need to use it (something i need to work on too!). take care of yourself!
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
That cool politeness took a bit of practice @Former-Member, but it helped me to regain a sense of personal control. Probably the hardest part for me was actually labelling my MIL's behaviour for what it was - emotional abuse - and I had every right to put up self-protection barriers ...... when she was behaving nicely I would relax them a little, but to begin with that just caused her to start straight up again. It took a while before she recognised that it was a form of turning my back in her when she was being abusive, and turning back around to face her again when she was not. She got to choose which version of me she preferred to be dealing with.
💜
💜
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
thanks @Faith-and-Hope, maybe I need to try that with my mother. My MIL on the other hand is lovely!
In response to: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Lucky you ..... 🤗💕💐
My mother was the gorgeous one .... and I lost her 16 years ago ..... got left with a dragon .... lol .... sad but true !!
My mother was the gorgeous one .... and I lost her 16 years ago ..... got left with a dragon .... lol .... sad but true !!
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Faith-and-Hopemmm family, can be so loving, confusing and detrimental to oneself.
I am sorry about your mother. My father was the one that held our family together. And it doesn;t get easier with time.
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
It took a long time for me @Former-Member .... but time does dull the pain of their loss to a greater extent. I guess it starts to become bitter-sweet.
I have found ways to honour her in my life, and I mark her special occasions on the calendar, cooking her "signature" dishes for the kids on those days, and buying her favourite flowers. I light a candle for the day and put it by her picture.
It all helps I think. Places in the heart .....
💜
In response to: Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
Unknown userMember
Re: RE: Darkness surrounds me
@Faith-and-Hope
That is a lovely way to honour your mother
