SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

Oh Golly @Former-Member

How do you tell your dad you can't?

That's a toughie but why not just say you are selling your house right now

By the time you have done that the situation could be different -

If I am counting right you need to sell your house first - so that might be tough to tell him but correct

Life is not easy - I so get that right now

Dec

Oh yes - I found my reply to your last message here - I thought it was lost

No you dont need to go back. Only if you want and on your terms.

You wont be able to change things greatly as things will follow their own course at this stage.

@Owlunar 's idea of delaying is good. Wait and see how things pan out, what theyare not telling you, before you commit.

@Faith-and-Hope 's right. Keep your own space.

If your dad needs a carer he might be able to get one from council and stay home. Or mum might need to go in High Care and dad into Low Care.

Its good at least that your dad recognises you as a good carer. It does not mean you have to do it.

Hi @Appleblossom, I see you there 🙂 Thanks for your post - you too @Owlunar, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member & all.

With mum & dad, i don't see myself as a 'carer' but rather a daughter who cares. But it is nice that dad at least trusts that I would be a good presence (even if he does think he's helpingbme out re housing - how cute is that😮 - gotta let them keep their pride). Last visit, when mum was really sick with a Hb-6 (needing x2 blood transfusions & iron infusion), she complained that I "just do what she does" - which is partly true 😮, obviously!

I've Never heard of live in carers from the council, don't think mum would allow strangers in her house, especoally if shes not there yo watch them, even if she's in hospital or 6' under, and I worry as dad is so vulnerable with dementia. At least I wouldn't have to shower him... Not good with that. Trusting God to make my path more obvious, straight.

Sydney rent is not an affordable option to have my own place.

Because their home value is >170k, New laws demand they 'sell up' and submit a huge bond to get into nursing homes now (which might be putting my parents off) but really, I think its just all in the 'too hard basket' for them. Like with debilitating major depression and anxiety (which I know well, hello mum - now in major crisis with terminal cancer), one just can't get the head around complex matters, processes, legal documents, or to make decisions, or think positively enough to trust people or systems, even family... Mum has always been scatty and disorganised, her MI mood swings cause huge family strain and divisions. I never want to become her 'fill in' (replacement). She'd find a way to be jealous about that too, maybe even haunt the place - strange thing have happened in that house.

Or do I have enough faith to walk in like Jesus and dispell all the darkness? Or called to in Him? (Is that 'grandious'? lol). I know theirs still love there, even in my mother's heart, there has to be. Yesterday she even said "you're the only one who bothers to ask how I am" (but she rarely gives a straight answer lol).

Enough of that.

I'm pleased to say my cough is much less and I hope to get back into sorting😱 today DECLUTTER another something.

Will give it my best shot anyway. Have had a great start. The rain is having a calming affect on me. Woke to its soft drizzle and chatting magpies this morning. Was so nice. And my birds too.

Had a lovely little exchange with Gem this morning. Worried about little Pearl, shes not happy, still very quiet and lost many breast feathers. Need to separate her - the finches divebomb her, cheeky little things. Gem gives it back at them (much bigger) but. I think pearl is a very young bourke bird - big baby eyes. Gembo is far more outgoing. So that is a priority, think I'm allergic to the birdseed though so its a bit tricky, and the cage is longer than my arm. Brain still ticking over the 'how to'

Oo, I hear a big frog croaking outside - where'd he come from after our log dry hot spell.

Sorry to harp on about myself, haven't caught up on all posts for quite a while.

Whatcha yas up to today? How are yas?

Good morning @Former-Member - "getting old isn't fun" - that's what my Dad said. So many decsions to make. I just hope that I am not a burden to my kids. In saying that though, I felt it was a privilege to care for my parents. They wasn't the complicated situation that you have except for the siblings :(.

I think you are doing the best that you can. Keeping in touch and showing that you care.

Your Dad sounds a bit softer than your Mum. Pain can make people cranky and do and say things they might not normally.

Good that you are on the road to recovery. My budgie here is starting to moult again and he isn't as cheery when that happens. Hope little Pearl is okay. Nice that she has Gem looking out for her. Bully finches - bravado in numbers.

I've cooked up some dog food and some chicken for me. Daughter is mostly vego except for some seafood so now and then I want a bit of protein for myself.

Hope you have a beaut day.

Happy safe travels @Faith-and-Hope, hope you manage some 'healthy' food medicine on the move. Without triggering ED ptsd lol (you know what I mean). Always nice to see you 💕