SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

Nice that you had some company @Former-Member and a little drink treat too.

My daughter made dinner tonight. Came back from yoga and she was in the kitchen cooking up a mushrooom pasta dish. It was very tasty. Maybe felt she should do something as I had washed her car (used to be my car)

Wow @Soul, cooked a meal for you 👍☺ Be thankful for every little positive lol Washing car is low on my priority list. Any form of CLEANING is a form of getting ORGANISED. Well done!

I just woke up from a refreshing couple hours sleep and realised its midnight. This high dose cortisone is messin with my adrenalin and making me agitated. If I was well I could get so much done (getting breathless) but hoping to do more today.

I did cleannout the bird cage today and attach a small cage to try coax the Bourke birds out to separate them from the finch birds as they fight and some losing feathers etc. Tricky business.

Interesting convo today with my parents. Having hinted to my parents recently that i kight have to sell up and rent (which is interpreted as 'being on the verge of 'homelessness') - Dad (not mum) got all formal and said "I might haveva solution to your problem - I had a thought and have a proposition for you...". Basically he asked me to come live there & help out just to manage things when mum goes into hospital which he suspects will be in about a month "kinda help each other out" I replied (tongue in cheek). Isn't he cute ☺ at least they are starting yo comevto terms with things and looking for solutions. While praying about it recently I sensed a pending breakthrough finally.

I tried to find out why dad thinks mum might go into hospital - in the background i heard mum snap at him "shut-up you're telling her too much" I suggested if mums hospital stay was only a day or two - one of my brothers could stay and save me a 12hr drive and do it. Dad didn't like that idea and said with strained voice "only if we pay them and they are restless, aggitated and not reliable..." Unfortunately, Baby bro, who helps a pot, had just arrived, overheard dad and started yelling profanities and stormed out the house. Them mum started yelling at dad [hello, i'm still on the phone], she was blaming dad for offending bro, chasing away the only help they have, now he's gone she strained..." ... "Hello I said , I'm still here" Mum grabbed the phone and started complaining about dad... swear words included. Then I heard bro come back in the house - so I had a talk with him and calmed him down. Turns out bro did come over for another handout re car (but I bit my tongue on that).

// Anyway, the first real conversation about moving fwd to solutions to their predicament, dads 'proposition' (mutal assistance they see it) was left open. I probably should of reasured him I'll be their but hesitated with the arguing and my thoughts - trying to factor in where I'm at here trying to put my own house in order & being sick. They don't hear me when I say "I'm sick" - consumed in their world. Of cause it made it clear to me that if I went down it would be very tense and secretive and manipulative and loud... And basically toxic. I think, or am i just just being too sensitive, avoiding????. What to you think Soul, @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-hope, @Former-Member, @Shaz51... Who have I forgotten? Is it too toxic? How does one know if we'll cope? They don't even know, or care, that I'm frantically pushing it to sellup.

☀ Had an amazingly sane conversation with my fav aunt today (mums sister), she thinks I should buy the little brick villa and a new car and prattled off all the hidden costs. She understands mum and dad can't see past themselves anymore, overwhelming for them. She's amazing, lost her own husband this year herself. Helps to know there's some emotional stablility in the bloodline there. Lol

☀
Hey, something totally random I enjoyed this week. Bumped into an old work colleague who noticed I'd grown my hair long (which is thick, long and wavy and was out at the time) and she commented "such beautiful hair" Wow, nobody has said to me "just beautiful" anything about me for many years. How lucky am I ☺

Whoa @Former-Member - you sure have to deal with a complicated and toxic family situation. You need to protect your own mental heath and it would be difficult not to be adversely affected when you get involved in the dynamics of that. Thankfully you live far away I suppose. Imagine being tied by in all the friction on a regular basis. Sounds like even a phone call gets out of hand really quickly.

It’s a pity that some family members can’t see past their own problems and issues to pass out some empathy to you but your aunt seems like a decent enough sort of person. She could be your ally in all of this. Does she have much to do with your parents?

Must be so difficult to know what the real situation is when people are contradicting themselves and mass confusion is reigning. Look out for your own needs. It’s not selfish - it’s survival in this case. I reckon you should n’t day too much about what is going on in your life. They will have an opinion no doubt and probably not the ones that are helpful.

Would you even consider living there with your father? Is your mother’s hospital admission indeed imminent and what is the prognosis? And then what role would your brother be playing in all this? So confusing!

That was lovely to get a compliment. And nice that someone cared enough to notice a change in you. Makes you feel as if you matter after all. And a “real”person too. I suppose that is why social connection is important. These little boosts make us think that we are a part of something.

Hope your health continues to improve and soon you won’t be relying on meds that mess with your sleep.

Have a great day. Any more decluttering on the cards this week? I just need to put some more clothes away and clean the bathroom. Daughter too needs to clean hers. Then we’ll be sorted for the rental inspection. I’ll provide a list of defects and it will be ignored as always. Unless it’s life threatening, that’s what happens.

Starting to think seriously about a break somewhere. Brought it up with my daughter again last night. Maybe later this month or next. Need a change of scenery.

Maybe take a short-term rental somewhere near them @Former-Member .... could leave some excess gear in a storage unit maybe ? That way you would have your own space to retreat to. A caravan park perhaps .... something will start to emerge as an idea ....

Good morning, and to you @soul .... 🤗💕

Hi @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope - hope you have a beautiful day

Oh wow @Former-Member

You do have a complex and toxic famiy situation there - and your Mum yelling on the phone - oh dear

What I hear loud and clear is that your are sick and you are selling your house - I forget why you are selling your house. Anyway - it does say somewhere in the Bible to get your own house in order first and so you do have some priorities for yourself you do need to attend to

Did your aunt tell you about your mother going into hospital - when, why and how long - maybe caring for your dad would be okay but how hard would that be for you

Yes - I know you want to help but you need to care for yourself as well - and sell your house - you have to been there for that and when you do sell there is still time for the settlement to take place -

Think of yourself first Lapses - that's not being selfish - that's giving yourself the chance to be your best for everyone when the time comes

Thinking of you and sending hugs

Dec

So hard when it's family and we have that "indoctrination" that family matters even when it isn't the best situation to be involved in @Former-Member.

I think you have to be brutally honest with your father and tell him that you are trying to deal with your own struggles but will do what you can. If that isn't good enough for them, so be it. You can't have that guilt destroying you. Been there, done that.