FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

How to accept help after a life of helping others

How to accept help after a life of helping others

I'm in my mid 50's and have had careers in the helping professions most of my adult life. Listening to friends and family, and even strangers on the street has been an habitual trait I can't seem to shake.

I feel a little broken at the moment trying to avoid situations where I'm used as a sounding board for 'their' problems. My own issues are on top of me and when I try to voice my concerns, a common answer is; "You think that's bad, what about me?" I then listen and engage as usual and leave the conversation feeling ignored and alone.

I wouldn't say I'm homebound, but close enough to it to feel scary and stuck. I call Lifeline sometimes for another voice in the room (I live alone) and it's mostly productive, but it doesn't replace close connections I crave; especially to discuss happy or up-lifting topics.

I was hospitalised this year and found it exasserbating being the one who needed support. I ended up listening to other patients and ignoring my own needs.

Even now I'm tempted to read posts and reach out to help.

How do I resist this temptation and focus on my own life?

Hope

268 replies

21 - 30 of 268

In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

or Nutella @Phoenix_Rising

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Did someone just say chocolate?

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Zoe7 Yes, I was tossing up whether to say chocolate or nutella. @Hope4me Do you like chocolate and/or nutella???

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Chocolate makes me smile. Nutella? Well, I haven't tasted it since my son was little as I put it on his lunches. Back then I preferred Mars spread. Mmm...more chocolatey @Zoe7 and @Phoenix_Rising

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

At the risk of being kicked off the forum - I am not a fan of Nutella - much prefer chocolate (my supoer cool status may now be revoked after admitting to that @Hope4me ) Sorry little turtle - can I stay - please @Phoenix_Rising - you super like me remember

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Hope4me Well clearly you need to be putting nutella on your shopping list this week!

@Zoe7 It is absolutely fine by me that you don't like nutella. That's one less person I have to share with.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

ROFL @Phoenix_Rising - I woke Toby up lol

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Now you've both gone and made me hungry! @Phoenix_Rising and @Zoe7

Sigh...gotta go. My doggy's pining and needs his mummy to feed him. (and me)

What a great chat...thankyou. No, really...

Chat tomorrow 🙂

Hope

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Good night @Hope4me. Don't forget to put nutella on your shopping list!

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

hello @Hope4me, how are you today my friend xx

21 - 30 of 268