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How to accept help after a life of helping others

How to accept help after a life of helping others

I'm in my mid 50's and have had careers in the helping professions most of my adult life. Listening to friends and family, and even strangers on the street has been an habitual trait I can't seem to shake.

I feel a little broken at the moment trying to avoid situations where I'm used as a sounding board for 'their' problems. My own issues are on top of me and when I try to voice my concerns, a common answer is; "You think that's bad, what about me?" I then listen and engage as usual and leave the conversation feeling ignored and alone.

I wouldn't say I'm homebound, but close enough to it to feel scary and stuck. I call Lifeline sometimes for another voice in the room (I live alone) and it's mostly productive, but it doesn't replace close connections I crave; especially to discuss happy or up-lifting topics.

I was hospitalised this year and found it exasserbating being the one who needed support. I ended up listening to other patients and ignoring my own needs.

Even now I'm tempted to read posts and reach out to help.

How do I resist this temptation and focus on my own life?

Hope

268 replies

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In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Hi @Hope4me, it is nice to meet you here in Forum Land. I super love your avatar - it looks super bright and happy.

What sorts of things are you interested in? There are all sorts of social threads here in Forum Land. I don't suppose you are into yoga are you? Somehow we seem to have started a virtual yoga group, which I am super enjoying. Other than that, I tend to float around in the ocean a lot on a thread called "Riding a wave". Oh and then there is Friday Feast. That is the highlight of my week. It generally kicks off around 7pm each Friday...although be warned, it tends to be quite fast paced and that can be a bit brain taxing. However, I know a lot of people enjoy just lurking there, even if they don't post.

Anyway, again, welcome to Forum Land.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Phoenix_Rising is the Queen of Friday Feast @Hope4me - she really is hard for ANY of us to keep up with (I think she secretly has several computers logged on at the same and multiple posts lol)

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Lovely to meet you @Phoenix_Rising. Friday? It's a date!
🙂
Thanks for the info @Zoe7. Have rectified lost post; it's on the sports page as we speak. 🙂

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Zoe7 giggle. I remember how much Friday Feast cooked my brain the first few times I went along. Do you think I'm the brain cooker now? I have wondered if I should slow down a bit. I really don't have multiple computers happening, but when I am feasting I am fully focused on the feast. That is, I'm not doing anything around the house or even going on other threads. Maybe I will try to slow down this week. Hee hee...I think this is the first time in my entire life that I'm thinking about doing something slower - usually I am super frustrated over how slow I am.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Seen it @Hope4me replied to it - you got this forum thing sorted now - wtg

@Phoenix_Rising I thought turtles only had one speed lol apparently when it comes to Friday Feast you are super-charged love it!!!

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

I like giggles and fast paced convo's. I'll see you round the traps @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

I look forward to seeing you at Friday Feast @Hope4me. The thread is in the "enjoying time with others" section of Forum Land.

@Zoe7 Actually now that I think about it, I think I might be turbo turtle when it comes to anything to do with food.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Phoenix_Rising

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Zoe7
Ah ha ha ha ha...

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

@Zoe7 Oh yes, that's me when I hear the word "chocolate."

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