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How to accept help after a life of helping others

How to accept help after a life of helping others

I'm in my mid 50's and have had careers in the helping professions most of my adult life. Listening to friends and family, and even strangers on the street has been an habitual trait I can't seem to shake.

I feel a little broken at the moment trying to avoid situations where I'm used as a sounding board for 'their' problems. My own issues are on top of me and when I try to voice my concerns, a common answer is; "You think that's bad, what about me?" I then listen and engage as usual and leave the conversation feeling ignored and alone.

I wouldn't say I'm homebound, but close enough to it to feel scary and stuck. I call Lifeline sometimes for another voice in the room (I live alone) and it's mostly productive, but it doesn't replace close connections I crave; especially to discuss happy or up-lifting topics.

I was hospitalised this year and found it exasserbating being the one who needed support. I ended up listening to other patients and ignoring my own needs.

Even now I'm tempted to read posts and reach out to help.

How do I resist this temptation and focus on my own life?

Hope

268 replies

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In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Absolutely @Appleblossom!

Happy dance indeed

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

good night my awesome @Hope4me

Hello @Appleblossom, @Zoe7, @Sahara, @Corny

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

You're pretty awesome yourself @Shaz51. Nice of you to drop by...

xo

In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

See what 'appens when we chant Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose together!

So belatedly happy for you @Hope4me that your accountant gave you the green light, and your business is no longer not my business, but in fact, everybody's business because you a small business person now gurrrl !!!!! Grrrr.........woof!

It will be exciting, stressful, a little anxiety provoking but so so satisfying to give Scott Morrison the bird. All these dealings you'll have with the ATO, you'll soon realise that the Libs whinging about so called welfare cons are delusional as they are the absolute minority, and the cons with the biggest laughs are rorting the tax system, not the welfare system.

Good luck @Hope4me you'll do great. There may be twists and turns or the pace may have fluctuations, but I'm so proud of ya!!!! Insulate yourself from your Mum's negativity and put downs, but you know all that so I won't lecture, instead, I'll just do a little jig, on one foot. I've busted me hip or I would break dance and do the helicopter!

G'day forumites @Shaz51@Appleblossom@Zoe7@Sahara @outlander @Former-Member @Maggie

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

I realise I'm a little late on the scene here @Hope4me ... but a big congratulations to you on the business venture. 🥂

Hi @Corny, always a pleasure seeing you around. Busted your hip???? Is that really busted your hip, or figuratively?

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Awwwe...thankyou lovely Cornstar for doing your virtual happy dance of support! It means a lot...

I'm really sorry about your hip @Corny. Bit of a bugger actually. What's the prognosis? Hope it's not too bad.

xo

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Thankyou @Former-Member. Things are moving ahead quickly now. Doors will be open within a week or two.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

G'day @Former-Member hope you're doing as well as can be expected. I'm sure you have good days, bad days, and days when you are just so weary, but neutral days too. Totally get the dual role thing, career and sufferer, I won't crash @Hope4me thread and bore you all. Nothing major. I am staring down the barrel of middle age and had hip dyplasia when I was a wee little one. My parents were pretty neglectful, very sick and Dad completely self absorbed and didn't put me in a brace & get medical help, like they were supposed to. So when my anxiety went off the scales and I took up running without doing my core strength exercises I think I've gone and injured myself......I had to hop on one foot up the hill about 3kms home the other day.....I looke like a wally...I find working out in a room doing strengthening exercises so boring, when I could be outside. I know I should start doing them, or maybe I will buy myself my first road bike and ditch the mountain bike.....a pretty racing red one..

Big hugs @Former-Member my Kindred Spirit Warrior Women

Corn Dog xxx

In response to: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Hi everyone. Reading along. Thanks for the tag @Corny sorry about your hip.

In response to: Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Re: How to accept help after a life of helping others

Well that sucks! @Corny

You keep revealing more and more about your childhood. Whew! 😔 Neglect has had dire consequences; your folks were utterly self absorbed and should be ashamed. It makes me so angry!

Wish I could help...xo

(Hi @Maggie!)

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