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utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

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In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 4:54 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Another day. Sleeping the day away. Very flat. Very irritable. Depression trying to suck me into its vortex. Feel hopeless.

In response to: Re: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 5:09 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hearing you @utopia ......

Have you got three itty-bitty things on your tick-list for today ?

Just doing something ..... anything ..... can help break the suction of the vortex.

Have you eaten something ?

In response to: Re: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Lovely to see you getting out and about on the forums @utopia ......

I didn’t mention it, but listening to, and helping others here is something I can do when I can’t do much irl with my situation, and if my energy is really low ..... and it counts as “doing something”. It’s a community service involvement. That doesn’t mean that that is why you are doing it ..... but it is achieving something, participating .....

💜💐

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 7:09 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Yes @Faith-and-Hope sometimes it helps to focus on other people instead of yourself.
I did get up after 5 and cooked a Shephards Pie. We all just wolfed it down, to be able to get to the train station to drop off sons girlfriend.
I am talking on Facebook with an old friend who is going through some really hard struggles.
I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. And Friday I head to Melbourne to see my psychiatrist. Hopefully those 2 appointments will help.

In response to: Re: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 7:41 pm AEST

Re: HOME

I am glad to hear it @utopia ..... ❣️

Keep taking care of you ....

(Shepherd’s Pie .... makes a note to make Shepherd’s Pie tomorrow night cos it sounds so yum)

💜

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 2:33 am AEST

Re: HOME

My brain won't switch off tonight. Lying in bed and the thoughts are racing. Have tried breathing exercise - but can't keep the focus for more than a minute.
And now I'm having an allergic reaction to something. My hands are hot and itchy. Burning hot. Don't recall touching anything new. Maybe my immune system is just going out in sympathy with my mental state.

In response to: Re: HOME

frogSenior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 6:41 am AEST

Re: HOME

So sorry to hear how hard it is at present @utopia Hoping the coming appointments are really helpful. You must be exhausted on top of everything else. Thinking of you.

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 12:44 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia .... hope your ha da are better this morning ......

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 7:19 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Don’t know what language that was @utopia ......

ha da = hands ......

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Didn't sleep til 5.30 this morning. Up to take son to school. Back to bed until 1.45. Just in time to see my psychologist.
He says my mood is slightly improving each time he sees me. But that my behavior (sleeping, eating, exercising and socialising) is deteriorating. And that if I don't try and change my behaviors, , it won't take much to send me into another deep depression episode.
So he really wants me to start socialising, but with new people. Not my bf and mum. But wuth people who can join in stimulating conversations. I do realise I do need to do this. I crave intelligent conversations. And sharing my passions with others. This is when I miss my old friend from when I was 16. As we used to discuss everything. Eclectic topics. Passions. Politics. Environment. People. And I've never really had another friend like him who I could talk to like that.
So my homework is to try and dind a social group in my little town that I can join. I'm thinking maybe a book club.
So the appointment went well. And I see my psychiatrist in Melbourne tomorrow.
@Faith-and-Hope

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