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HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

2072 replies

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In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia
Hugs to you ❤️❤️
I remember when I did art therapy I was in tears I couldn't do it because it brought up too many emotions. Glad you are going and working through it. It's so hard isn't it working through anger and sadness I get thst and understand.
I hope you get well soon. We all want thst for you my dear friend.
Take care. Chat soon. ❤️❤️
BB Xxoo

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

hugs @utopia

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Thank you @soul @Shaz51 @BlueBay & everyone else.
Had a good sleep last night. Went to the supermarket this morning & sat at the park for 5 minutes. No dogs at the park - so came back. Might go to the park at 5.30 tonight. Meant to be lots of dogs there at that hour.
Did creative art and used water pencils to colour in some feathertail gliders in a gum tree. So that was a bit grounding.
Had my new AD upped to 300mgs today. Jave been hot all day. Hot menopausal flushes and extra heat - side effect of new AD.
It's an unnatural environment in here. Food is cooked and provided for you. Cleaning is done by cleaners. Nurse reminds and gives you meds. So little stress here. So think I'm feeling better. But not sure if it's just this environment.

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

@utopia

The painting sounds lovely. Good Luck dog spotting.

I am wondering if that AD is the one I am on. As I had a second menopause or series of hot flushes after it was upped to those levels ??? Makes sense anyway, as I thort I was past all that.

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

I love that pic @Shaz51 - exactly right for @utopia right now in her unnatural environment

I get that Utopia - with other people doing everything for you it must be difficult to make the change to home unless you feel yourself you are really ready for it

Personally I found it really helpful to have HRT for menopausal symptoms - mostly I had itchy skin and then I would sort of sit in a chair and melt right away - HRT helped

I hope you get the chance to have a new start this time Utopia - I know things are difficult in matters I have no idea about - but I do care and try and understand and hope this is helping

Dec

In response to: Re: HOME

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia. Hope you got to watch and maybe pat or play with some dogs this afternoon. Mine is laying by the front door on the mat catching a breeze. Took her for a long walk this afternoon around a park. It rained quite heavily yesterday so there were small lakes everywhere but she avoided them.

Hope the increase in meds goes well with you. Little feathertail gliders sounds nice. Just the companion for a cockatoo.

I get how you aren't sure whether the environment where you have little responsibility may be contributing to you feeling better. Mind you, it's nice having someone do something for you. I always thought that even a Vegemite sandwich tasted better if someone else made it.

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Didn't go to the park or anywhere today. Very cold in Melbourne and I really packed for summer.
A long slow day.

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

What, he talked to you ? @utopia .. I'm male but mine never talked to me. Guess just absorbed opinions re his world view over breakfast table

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Sorry for dropping in on thread @utopia I didn't realise you were in hospital

In response to: HOME

Re: HOME

Anxiety all over the place today. Was starting to worry yesterday - nut today the worry is high.
I'm waiting to see my psychiatrist. I have WorkCover approved stay until tomorrow morning.
So today my doctor decides if I go home tomorrow or if he puts in a request for me to stay longer.
I'm really worried he will tell me I'm okay to go home.
I think the new Anti Depressants are working at this high dose. I've certainly been able to have a laugh occasionally.
But I worry if I go home - will I fall into the same depressive habits. And how long after I get home before my motivation and energy come back.
I don't want to leave hospital only to find that I've failed and am still sick and have to go back to hospital again.
I just want to get well. I want ME back. I want this horrid nightmare that is depression and anxiety to just disappear and never come back.
Scared of going home.
Scared of staying.
701 - 710 of 2,072