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So true @utopia. It's hard to be kind to ourselves. We are our worst critics at times.

About your Dad's comments, I remember my father once telling me that I should have been a boy. My parents already had a first born son and then a daughter so in his way of thinking another son would have been preferable. His family structure was four girls and then two boys so his thinking was somewhat all screwed up. There was a family business and the oldest daughter was entrusted to run things as the boys were considerably younger.

Maybe it was a generational thing. Before the times of Girl Power and all. In any case it has hurt you. I also remember my Dad not allowing him to help him in his workshop because i was a girl and shouldn't get my hands dirty.

Just concentrate on yourself for now. We are willing you to get better and are looking forward to seeing glimpses of the former Utopia.

Have been reading through this feed @utopia. Art therapy does seems to bring up a lot of emotions. I hope this stay will help you for the better. Hugs to you

Thanks for sharing that with us @utopia. It shows that you have an awareness of your emotions and that's very important. You also say imply that ypu don't want to feel that way. That's another good thing.

I really like how the therapist saw the manifestation of your emotions and mentioned the earth as a metaphor for grounding. I hope that you are able to find something that can facilitate that.

This struggle you have is draining the energy from you. There is peace to be had - I hope you find a way to access it.

Hi @utopia - The interesting thing about self-criticism and lacking self-compassion is that they are learned at a very early age. As children we don't know our place in the world so we are what we are told we are. It took me a lot of therapy to realise that all my self-hatred was because of what others had put in my head. No one is born feeling that way about themselves. We have to take responsibilty for our own behaviour eventually but we can see the seed that our negative emotions grow from and who planted them. I'm glad the art therapy is beneficial to help get all this stuff out in the open. Everything that is buried has to rise to the surface and you're in the right place with the right people to deal with it now. Would be really great to see your paintings if you're comfortable to share them. Hope the rest of the day goes well for you. Onwards and upwards.

Thinking of you @utopia. Hope that sadness turns to joy for you bit by bit.

Hi @utopia - wishing you a good weekend. Got any plans? Hope you are feeling better each day.