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utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

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In response to: HOME

Zoe7Senior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 9:42 am AEDT

Re: HOME

@utopia a fly-by to drop in a present for you and say hi - HI

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 10:37 am AEDT

Re: HOME

Thank you @Zoe7. He's gorgeous. Would have loved a giant teddy bear like that when I was a kid. Problem though - he wouldn't have fitted into my bec. Was hard to fit all my small teddies in bed each night and still find room for me. And then I'd have to rotate the teddies so none of thdm missed out sleeping close to me. Lol. Would wake up in the morning and find th all on my bedroom floor. Sad.
I hope you are doing well. It's really good to hear from you.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 10:46 am AEDT

Re: HOME

@soul. It hurts when he says no, or won't talk to me. But I'm getting numb to it now, I think. Or my feelings are hidden. I want him home but at the same time, I don't. Not full time. Maybe he senses it.
I borrow a lot of books from the library. That's what I do with my days - read.
It took the washing machine repair man 16 days from when he 'fixed' it - to come back and 'fix' it again. I'm not waiting that long again. Makes me so mad.
I hope you have a good day today. Sun is out here and the birds are singing

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 1:00 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

💜 @utopia ..... hugs ..... sorry to hear the sucky bits, but there is a lot of ✅ going on for you and that's worth 🎉

❣️

In response to: Re: HOME

Shaz51Senior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 1:11 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

sending you hugs @utopia

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Zoe7Senior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 1:28 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

@utopia I used to have bunk beds that could be turned into 2 single beds - they would go up and down regularly (depending on how much space I wanted in my bedroom lol). My whole teddy collection would be tucked into the spare bed each night (and I had ALOT of teddies ) I had my favourites that would sleep with me and then the others would also be rotated around - same as you - I didn't want any of them to miss out That all did mean I had 2 beds to make everyday (but couldn't have my teddies being cold overnight

Now I have a Toby teddy that shares the bed with me - and occasionally a Cat teddy

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 1:44 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

@Faith-and-Hope & @Shaz51. Thank you. For all the negative/hard stuff happening in my life - there is still good.
The sun is shining. It's a warm day. The birds are singing. The cd is playing The Giants - one of my favorite Aussie Bands.
So all is okay with the world.
I hope you are both having a good day.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 1:49 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

Lol @Zoe7. I can see your bunk beds and your teddy collection. I wonder if most kids / girls did this teddy ritual every night.
and every morning, mourning the ones who fell out of bed.
Although your teddies had their own bed, did you sleep with a special one each night? Or rotate that privilege?

In response to: Re: HOME

Zoe7Senior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 2:00 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

I did have one special teddy @utopia It was the first teddy bear given to me for my first christmas from my Nan. This particular teddy went everywhere with me. Mum had professional photos taken of my sister and I when I was about 3 and guess what - I was still hanging onto Teddy (yes that was his name lol)

The really funny thing is that Toby and my Teddy are so similar - both my sister and mum have commented on the similarities - both small, both white, both fluffy (Teddy not so much now) and both are (were) always with me - I have no doubt either that there is a connection between both of them (and Toby was born the day after the anniversary of my Nan's passing so I see that as a sign also that part of her is within him - both very much loved by me and love(d) me)

And yes... all the other teddies were rotated each night so a few extras slept with me too

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor14 Oct 2017, 2:16 pm AEDT

Re: HOME

It must be very hard for you @utopia if your son says no. Maybe as he matures, he will think differently. Try to take it easy, not see it as outright rejection, just confusion perhaps.

Good that you can still see positive things happening in your life. Grrrr about the washing machine though.

Never had any teddies @Zoe7 - just a stuffed koala made from kangaroo skin called Cuddles. My daughter was a big teddy fan. She was inseparable from her favouite one. I had to wash him and put him in the dryer when she was asleep.

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