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Thank you @Appleblossom@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51.

Appointment went well, I guess. I never really know. I come off one tablet starting tonight and he's put me back on the quit alcohol medication I was on last year/early this year.

Wants me completely off alcohol, even though I'm not drinking as much as I used to. Will see how I go. Told him wasn't really interested in quitting. He said remembering my suicidal ideation and plans should be enough to make me want to quit. (not really) .

6 hours and I'm finally home. Will go and grab a nap.

Sounds like it went okay @utopia Does this medication to quit drinking work? I suppose it only does if you really want it to as well - so that is something you need to think about.

Hope you have a nice nap - a 6 hour round trip is a long day.

That’s a long drive @utopia glad the appt went well. Thinking of you xx

Checking in to see how my favourite cocky is doing @utopia

@Zoe7. Your favourite cocky drank too much today. But I'm doing okay .

Tip run tomorrow morning and then an appointment with my psychologist.

How have you been @Zoe7? Everything falling into place, re: returning to work?

Oh naughty cocky lol @utopia Good that you are doing okay though

Still waiting to hear about returning to work. The HR person said she would call me tomorrow to update me. Apparently they have been having trouble organising a time for everyone to meet to work out the details - I am sure the Principal is just being difficult and making this whole process drawn out too long. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but from previous experience dealing with her I have serious doubts that she is in anyway supportive. The fact is that I am permanent at that school and they have to accommodate me going back. The timeframe is getting very tight though to put things in place this term and I really need to be back ...and getting paid - I am living on the absolute bare essential and starting to worry about money and that is not good for our MH as you well know.

How are things in your world? Is the psychologist close or do you have to drive far?

Money worries are not good for our MH. @Zoe7. really messes with my brain and causes too much stress and anxiety.

Yes your boss and your school have to take you back. The smoother the transition, the better for everyone. So the principal could be hurting herself by slowing down and messing with the back to work schedule.

My psychologist used to work in my town once a week. But he stopped last month. Now I drive 50 minutes to the bigger town to see him. It doesn't feel the same though. The room is different. Everything is odd.

I get that strange feeling when you are in a different place/room to see someone - the comfortable, familiar setting helps to allow one to open up - it is like anything @utopia if we feel ok in our environment then we feel more ok to talk - so I get how the change of venue can affect you. Hopefully you can adjust to the new place a bit more as you get more used to it.

I agree - the Principal is not helping herself or the school by dragging this out - I honestly don't think she has much of an idea about how this all works. It will be to her detriment in the end though - particularly with how much needs to be done towards the end of the year.

It's raining here today so it will be an inside day - might try to tackle another box in the spare room and do some more painting. Hope you have a good day my beautiful cocky friend

Some painting sounds like a nice activity for a rainy day @Zoe7. Was light rain here this morning. Full cloud. But has cleared up and the sun has come out.

Talk withy psychologist went well. Spoke about going to the Aboriginal event and managing to stay for half of it.

For homework, he wants me to write down 30 things that make me anxious, even small little things. Then he'd like me to confront some of those small little ones. That way when the anxiety is big, eg: big groups like the Aboriginal event, I will be able to "sit" with the anxiety better. Well, that's the aim.

That is something we have looked at in DBT @utopia - being able to sit with the smaller feelings to be able to handle the bigger ones a bit better. It is not easy but the more you do it the better it does become. I hope you can get through some of those smaller things - it does help to realise it is possible when the bigger things like the Aboriginal day come up again. I think you did a fantastic job to stay for as long as you did despite you feeling so anxious

I have done a little painting today but there is one small section that I want to get done tonight.

I still haven't heard from HR and I am getting very annoyed - so much for saying they will call me today It is starting to get ridiculous how long it is taking and how little communication there is in the meantime.