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@Zoe7. HR need to get off their arses.

I agree totally @utopia - it is far from being adequate let alone good enough. If I have to call them myself on Monday then I am going to call the union first and see if they get their act into gear then

So it's Saturday night again. Days last forever, yet weeks go by so fast. How is that even possible?

So yet again I've spent a day on my own. Not talking to anyone. Trying to read a book to keep me entertained . It's not working. I'm bored. I'm lonely . Yet I'm not motivated to do anything about it.

I should be trying to meet people, volunteer, talk to people at the shops, phone friends, visit friends. But I sit on my arse all day and do nothing. And then wonder why I am so alone.

Yes, supposedly my mental health is getting better, but nothing has really changed. And I can't see it changing in the future either. 5 years, 10 years down the track, I still think I will be alone. Still struggling with motivation. Still isolating myself and hating myself for it.

There must be a way to motivate me to exercise and meet people. But my brain (negative self talk) says no. This is just the way it is.

This isn't living. This is simply existing. I hate it.

Hi @utopia Sounds familiar to me - pretty much been the same for a long time. It is a hard state to get out of - that is why goiong to the pool has been so good for me - a little exercise and being around a small group of people a couple of times a week has been great. It really does take a lot of effort some days though so I get how hard this is for you. It is one of those things where you need the motivation to actually get motivated and that is super hard.

I begin back at work for half a day on Monday and to be honest with you I really wish I wasn't - but hoping that will change once the anxiety and nerves around the first time back go away (if they do). That is another of my concerns - will I actually be able to do the job!

So I feel for you as all those self-doubts we have really hold us back and then the negative self-talk takes over and all we want to do is hide away ...but as you have said - that is no way to live

@utopia

You can do the job @Zoe7. You've done it before. It's like riding a bike. You won't forget. Just nerves for first day back. That's to be expected.

Our swimming pool isn't open yet. It opens December thru March. And it's not heated and is freezing cold.

Well that counts out the pool then @utopia I wouldn't be getting into a cold pool either - the one I go to is 32 degrees - it is perfect lol I love to just float around and feel the water around me - it certainly reduces my anxiety.

How are Abbey and Dog?

I think "readiness" is underestimated @utopia Maybe you have had to do other chewing through stuff, before you get out and do more. Be kind to you.

Abbey and Dog are good. Gave them a marrow bone today, so they were very happy with their treat @Zoe7.

Nearest heated pool to me is 1 HR away.

@Appleblossom - I want to be ready now. I want this depression to finally be over. I want to have a life with friends and activities. A full life worth living.