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utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

2072 replies

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In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor08 Sept 2017, 10:53 pm AEST

Re: HOME

WTG @utopia .... ❤️

In response to: HOME

soulSenior Contributor08 Sept 2017, 11:28 pm AEST

Re: HOME

That's really nice news @utopia. Hope you enjoy watching your son play and that his team does well. I bet your dogs appreciated a walk. Keep it going. After a month or so, it will become second nature and you'll miss it if you don't go.

Read a book and sewed a cushion - great achievements too. All steps that are leading you in the right direction.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Sept 2017, 6:41 am AEST

Re: HOME

Just woke from a horrid horrid dream. Once I was semi conscious that it was just a nightmare, I started screaming and screaming. Took me ages to open my eyes and raise my head to check no one was there. To confirm it was a nightmare. And then I realised, my big Labrador didn't come running into my bedroom. If I really did scream while I was awake - she would definitely have bolted into my room. She protects me.
So when I thought the dream had finished - I must have still been in it.
Can't sleep now.
Am now feeling paranoid that it could have been an hallucination. My new meds have warnings about hallucinations and psychosis and paranoia.
Not today. I can't go mad today. It is my sons grand final today.
Am really paranoid that I am going to 'see' something when we are out watching him play.
It didn't feel like a dream. It felt so real.
Am so tired. Don't think I could go back to sleep.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor09 Sept 2017, 7:20 am AEST

Re: HOME

Sorry to hear that @utopia. I am a vivid dreamer too. Sometimes it's very scary and for a moment, I wonder if it's real or not. I often felt like I had a lot of pressure on me, on my chest and I was trying to scream but no sound would come out. I just had to realise that it wasn't real at all - just my subconscious mind playing tricks.

Maybe that was your experience too. Need to separate the airy fairy stuff from what is true. Love how your dog has your back. That's a sign that things are okay if she wasn't alerted.

Try to ground yourself. Exciting day ahead - watching your son. Victory or disappointment? My son's semi final ended up in extra time and then a penalty shootout. Very tense situation. They lost but were pleased to have come that far.

Enjoy your day. You're okay. Some lovely memories to be made. Don't miss out on that.

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember09 Sept 2017, 1:53 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - sometimes new meds can give you vivid dreams when they are starting to work. Altering chemicals in our brain can have undesirable effects until your mind gets used to them. I hope your son has a great game - it must be reassuring for him to have you there supporting him.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Sept 2017, 3:01 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hi @Former-Member @soul @Faith-and-Hope.
Well my son and his teammates played a really good game. But they came Runners Up in todays Grand Final. My boy is disappointed. So we get in the car with my mum promising to buy him a late lunch at Nandos.
But the car won't start. As usual, she sat in the car for the last 40 minutes witg the auxiliary power on. And now she can't figure out why the battery has gone flat.
She does this every few weeks when we are at sporting events.
Up to an hour to wait for the RACV. Then get my boy lunch. Then do grocery shopping. And then go to the paint shop.
I just want to go home. No meds for calming down here & no alcohol either.
Thus is far too long to spend in the car with mymum

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor09 Sept 2017, 3:11 pm AEST

Re: HOME

😥⚽️🚗🍗 that's too bad @utopia. Getting to the finals is a big deal though. Car trouble is a bother. Nando's is yummy. Home is sweet.

A big day for all of you.

In response to: Re: HOME

Unknown userMember09 Sept 2017, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - shame about the game but that's an excellent achievement getting to the final and it's great that you got to see him play. Annoying about the car but at least it's only the battery. My youngest daugter had her basketball semi-final today and they won so into the grand final next week. I'm happy they've got this far - anything else is a bonus. What are you painting - art or house?

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Sept 2017, 11:49 pm AEST

Re: HOME

@Former-Member my mum needs some rooms painted.
well done for your daughter. Exciting time next week.
My son was disappointed about not winning. But he recognised what a tight match it was and how well he and his teammates played.
After waiting so long for the RACV - we got my boy his Nandos *their chips are yummy) & then just went home where I slept for 3 hours.
Am still totally exhausted, so hope to sleep well tonight.
I'm glad your day went well.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor10 Sept 2017, 1:06 pm AEST

Re: HOME

@utopia - saying hi to my favourite cockatoo friend. Only cockatoo friend but that doesn't diminish the sentiment in any way. Hope you're having a restful day. Gotta take it easy when you're worn out.

And you're right - Nandos chips are yummy. Must be the seasoning.

Here's a pretty necklace for you that I found.

Got any plans for this week?

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