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@utopia

Im so pleased things with centrelink are ok. That has to be a relief!

How you doing luv?

X

@Bella1978. A bit low today. That'snnormal the day after an appointment.

So I'm always going to have depression. Just I'll have periods when I'm in remission. Doesn't sound good to me.

Took my mega high dose of anti depressants today. Looked up the possible side effects. None good. But besides being low, no problems. If I experience any side effects I'm to immediately call my psych and go back to old dose. I'll see him in 2 weeks time, instead of the usual 6 weeks, as he wants to monitor me on this dose.

And am having teenager trouble where I've had to ground by son. I'lltell you aabout it another day.

Hope you are well.

Please let me know how your meeting goes tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

@utopia

not surprised you are feeling low today luv. always so much to digest after psych appts, and especially when we are confronted with news we dont want to hear. it sucks as there is no 'cure' for depression however, it is learning to manage the illness as best we can. and i know it is easy for me to say, but it is so hard when we are feeling so low.

and i hear you re: side effects of meds - some of them can be nasty, and scary. and then it is weighing up the benefits v risks of the medication. and thats a good idea to see your psych sooner so he can monitor you. perhaps you can make notes each day on how you are feeling so when you see him you can see how you have progressed with the increased medication.

i know when ive been to the doctor on a good day, i feel everythings been great but if i go on a bad day i feel everything sucks lol ... so its good to keep a notebook i think.

sorry to hear your son is stressing you out! *big hugs*

and yep, will let you know how the meeting goes tomorrow

xxx

Hi @utopia

That would cause depression just learning that you will always suffer from this condition - so it's definitely and incurable disorder - just allowing your to have periods of remission

This doesn't sound good - ah - I thought therapy was supposed to cure this disorder - either that or the therapist was supposed to give you the tools to climb out of the hole circumstances pitched you head-first into

Regardless - I hope the extra-medication does at least ease the situation for you - and I just thought - was it you that had a peaceful spell in hospital some time back when the medication was increased

I really hope something works for you - thinking of you though

And the last thing you need is to have a teenager acting out - they do though - if you have to sort your head out on having permanent depression grounding a teenager doesn't sound easy

All the best Utopia

Dec

@Owlunar. It meaans that it's not a one off episode of depression. I will have periods when I am well - called remision & then relapses when I will have another episode etc. Yes talk therapy is to help extend the length of the remision period, as are the medications.

Last time I was in hospital, they took me off a different anti depressant and put me on this anti depressant. Sometimes the meds work. Sometimes they work for a while. Sometimes they don't work.

Have been extremely irritable these past two days. Today was shakey and emotional. Hopefully these side effects will settle down.

I hope the side FX settle too @utopia- it is so hard to have a condition causing so much distress and have medication causing you to be more unsettled - it must be horrible waking up in the morning with all of this happening

It must have been a terrible shock having your dx for depression given as permanent with periods of remission - like how can you win with this? It seems no matter what you fight with - your medication, your sobriety, your therapy - whatever - even keeping a stiff-upper-lip is only temporary and you will be back in deep sh^t

I'm sorry this is so rough for you - I understand enough from being on the wrong BP medication for a few weeks and how bad I felt - taking a different preparation is so much easier - I hope you can reach a better place with all of this - I really do

Thinking of you UtopiaDec

@utopia

Hey sweets, how are you feeling? im so sorry the 2 days have been crappy for you ☹ you think it is the side effects from the increase in meds?

I think at the moment you are still processing the news about your diagnosis luv. please try to have faith. And yes the sucky thing is there will be times when the black dog rears its head, but if you begin to have the awareness of when it is happening, you will be able to get through it just that little bit easier. It has taken me a long time (lol!) but I can see when I am starting to spiral downhill with depression, and that is when I reach out to those closest to me, and I try to do things that are beneficial for me. I wont lie, it doesn’t always work lol! But it is learning to manage the illness as best we can. and something that helps me is filling my life with things that I enjoy, talking with friends (best therapy!!), exercise (as you have now started – that will be great for helping with your depression. you find what works for you luv. I hope some of what I said has helped you sweets.

Are you still feeling irritable and shaky? What have you been up to today? Ive been pottering around the house. Feels so empty. Meeting went ok. They still cant confirm mum’s diagnosis. Said it could still be delirium, or onset of vascular dementia. They are going to commence cognitive functioning tests to see how she is with that. She was very tired when I saw her yesterday. I rang her today though and she was in a really good mood, she had been sitting and chatting with the other patients. Im glad that she is interacting with others – she needs that.

All right my luv, I hope to hear from you soon

*big hugs*

xx

thinking of you @utopia and sitting with you

@utopia

Thinking of you.

It is hard to accept higher meds. Know that feeling.

I loved @Owlunar squadrons of swannish seraphims .... WOW ... what an image!

Take Care

Apple

Thank you everyone @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Bella1978 @Owlunar

Yes the confirmation of the Diagnosis was very distressing. But as I often do, I freak out and think of the worst scenarios. Thus increasing my distress.

I had a great appointment with my psychologist today. He focused on praising me for doing the ParkRun. Even though I know how that therapy works, after a while, I stopped being negative with him being predictable and actually started to listen to what he was saying.

He then explained how Navy Seals and Special Operation forces are trained to cope with high levels of stressful situations. He explained it and then said, that's what we do with you now. Retrain your thinking to be able to cope with 'everyday' stresses.

This way, I will have long long periods of remision and fewer depression episodes and of les strength. So i'll try and focus on those words.

So rather than beat myself up with all the things i'm not doing - I'm to congratulate myself when I get out of bed before 10. When I do any washing. Any walking. Any socialising. I'm to talk that up - make it bigger - to get my brain to focus on the feel good hormones - so that it increases my motivaation to do more - because my brain wants that rush of being successful.

Not easy. Please remind me when I falter into negative talk.

Feeling really positive.