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utopiaSenior Contributor

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

2072 replies

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In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Take car on the road @utopia ..... will be thinking of you, hoping for a good outcome.

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Well, that typo was pretty funny ..... I should hope you took the car on the road @utopia ..... 😏 ..... I missed that one !!

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Just got home. Was a long day for a 30 minute consult. He filled out the CL paperwork. Stating it is a temporary exacerbation of a permanent condition.
Estimate of time patient won't be able to study or work? He ticked the 13 to 24 month box. Wow.
He also increased my AD again. Now double the recommended dose. I start tomorrow.
He's not worried about my lack of memory / memory fog. He said it's due to the depressionand anxiety.
He asked me if I'm crying a lot. I said I rarely cry. Think the meds block that.
I explained about the white coat syndrome and the anxiety causing chest pain.
Then I left ready to come home but the freeway entrance was shut. So I got lost for a full hour driving around the inner city trying to find my way to another freeway entry. My ph battery was low so couldn't google maps.
I asked a man on the street. He directed me - but it's only entry back to the city. 15 minutes later after crossing over the top of the freeway with no entry ramp. I stopped at a service station. The guy gave me directions from where I'd just been. No entry ramp leading away from the city.
Finally I made it onto the freeway, but I didn't recognise the normal landmarks and was doubting I was even on the right freeway. Roadworks and high stress. I didn't recognise anything.
Eventually that freeway turned into my freeway. That's when I felt a single tear slide down my cheek.
I'm now going to sleep for a few hours.
I'm exhausted. Physically. But even more so emotionally.

In response to: Re: HOME

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

@utopia

In response to: HOME

Bella1978Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

@utopia

Hi sweetheart, just catching up on your thread from last night. Im so sorry you had so much going on in your head after we messaged each other, sorry I wasn’t there for you.

You had such a long day. how do you feel about what the psychiatrist said? Your journey home sounds like it was a nightmare for you but I am glad you got home safe.

I do think the meds can cause our emotions to dull down to the extent that we don’t cry. I didn’t see my mum cry for a very long time. First time was last year and it was so foreign to me. Im the opposite! Lol … cry cry cry hehe

I hope you are still having a snooze and wake up feeling better.

Please let me know how you are feeling when you wake up. Thinking of you

*hugs*

xx

In response to: Re: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Does sound like a nightmare on the freeway @utopia ..... and guessing you’re a bit shell-shocked from the pdoc appt too .... even if it’s good news re the Centrelink paperwork, it still a lot to take in.

I hope you’ve had a good rest and a chance to catch your breath at least.

Hugs Hon ..... ❤️

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

Thanks for the beautiful pictures @Appleblossom.
@Bella1978 - he confirmed what my psychologist said. I have Major Depression. I will always have it. I will have periods of being well and periods of sickness.
Before my workplace incident - I was on the lowest dose possible. Tomorrow it will be 8 times that dose.
Psych says it is most likely in my genes (depression). Not good to hear.
Am still tired. Son home from work. All good here.

In response to: Re: HOME

MaggieSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

@utopia Sorry yesterday was such a tough one in so many ways. I hope you got some sleep. 💛💛

In response to: Re: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

My case manager took the CentreLink Medical Cert into the CentreLink office. Then called me and said it's all okay. Payments will continue as normal. So that's good.

In response to: Re: HOME

MazaritaSenior Contributor

Re: HOME

That's awesome news, @utopia. Nothing like relief from Centrelink woes. Really glad things are sorted for now.

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