Depression and loss of functioning

I thought I would just start another thread about depression and loss of functioning. I know many us feel isolated and alone in dealing with a mental illness. At the moment I am feeling quite vulnerable with my loss of functioning from my depression. I don't know a way forward or what to do for the best. I recently went to a memory clinic before I went overseas and I just finished all my testing for this late last week. With the news of having change to my brain and I am not sure why that is the case and I have been reading articles over the weekend about depression and how that damages the brain. I know as a suffer of depression we don't normally talk about our brain and how important it is to keep our brain healthy. I was meant to start uni this coming Monday but with the affects of my depression and my concerns over my MRI and spect brain scan, I don't think it would be wise for me to start because of the stress associated with study therefore I could be vulnerable of worsening my depression and burning myself out more. I am not sure if I will ever return to study at this stage and that makes me feel sad. I feel like a failure and I am needing my forum family to support me through this diffcult time.

My plan of attack is to see if I get an appointment this Tuesday with my specialist, if not I will wait until the following week for my scheduled appointment. I have found the information I read about depression- and how depression damages parts of the brain. I am still planning an admission down to Sydney soon, I worry it will not make a difference to me or that I will not change. I am not sure if hospital is right for me and I am scared that it will make me worse too. I am thinking of calling the program director and asking her what they can offer me on my readmission.

I want to get better and I want to be a peace with myself and I believe we all just want to be happy again. I know the path ahead is going to be rough at times but I am ready to make changes in my life.