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Depression and loss of functioning

oceangirlSenior Contributor

Depression and loss of functioning

I thought I would just start another thread about depression and loss of functioning. I know many us feel isolated and alone in dealing with a mental illness. At the moment I am feeling quite vulnerable with my loss of functioning from my depression. I don't know a way forward or what to do for the best. I recently went to a memory clinic before I went overseas and I just finished all my testing for this late last week. With the news of having change to my brain and I am not sure why that is the case and I have been reading articles over the weekend about depression and how that damages the brain. I know as a suffer of depression we don't normally talk about our brain and how important it is to keep our brain healthy. I was meant to start uni this coming Monday but with the affects of my depression and my concerns over my MRI and spect brain scan, I don't think it would be wise for me to start because of the stress associated with study therefore I could be vulnerable of worsening my depression and burning myself out more. I am not sure if I will ever return to study at this stage and that makes me feel sad. I feel like a failure and I am needing my forum family to support me through this diffcult time.

My plan of attack is to see if I get an appointment this Tuesday with my specialist, if not I will wait until the following week for my scheduled appointment. I have found the information I read about depression- and how depression damages parts of the brain. I am still planning an admission down to Sydney soon, I worry it will not make a difference to me or that I will not change. I am not sure if hospital is right for me and I am scared that it will make me worse too. I am thinking of calling the program director and asking her what they can offer me on my readmission.

I want to get better and I want to be a peace with myself and I believe we all just want to be happy again. I know the path ahead is going to be rough at times but I am ready to make changes in my life.

35 replies

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In response to: Depression and loss of functioning

Bimby2Senior Contributor

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

You can't be all things to all people as much as we want to be at times. Your indecision is understandable

and if you decide not to go to the wedding, you have the right to make your own decisions what ever you feel. We often have decisions in life to make and if needsbe buy a nice present and card and explain you

have a prior commitment. If you don't do what you want in life you're being a martyr and compromising yourself. It comes down to either going or apologising for your non attendance. Good luck and well wishes to you. Sincerest regards Bimby2

In response to: Depression and loss of functioning

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

@jamesle2015, people I know,they don't understand and I cannot trust them because it's a sad fact that their need to gossip etc overrides any sincerity.I come from a small town,worked in a factory in it for over twenty years,know how it operates.Yes interactions do cause me a lot of depression, there's that "survival of the fittest",put you down to make them feel good,and many many other forms.I haven't the energy for people, without the depression and anxiety,I am a loner ,and human behavior disgusts me often.

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

@Bimby2
Don't know how I'm going to get out of it without looking bad,but I will have to.My anxiety is a BIG blocker.Thanks

In response to: Depression and loss of functioning

LooneyToonesSenior Contributor

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

@Former-Member . Thanks for being so honest about how you feel. Not many people I know are that honest. Re the wedding; could you just politely say that you're not comfortable in social situations at the moment? Buy a lovely card perhaps a gift and then just let it be. I wish you peace 🌼

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Thanks @Looney Toones,
It causes me stress people me in that situation.I know I have castatrophic thinking.I can't say in one sentence my reasons,there are many my anxiety would be 60-75%,the fact that I am a unemployed loser with mental health,the fact that I avoid photos,(probably got three photos of me in adult life besides photo ID),I am estranged from relations (eg:have avoided my uncle for years for reasons) ,and simply just want to be left alone.I don't feel proud of myself Looney Toones,I am SC everyday,I question if I have the ability to ",cover up",....I get distressed all the time as well so if someone said the wrong thing it wouldn't take much.As I said many reasons,lastly I don't have the life in me anymore and seeing someone happy I know it sounds awful,makes me more bitter about my life.Its a vicious cycle.In reference to peace, that's the trouble,I never felt at peace,and this is like something that takes a part of me everyday.

In response to: Depression and loss of functioning

LooneyToonesSenior Contributor

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

@Former-Member -how are you today? Any more thoughts re the wedding? 🌺

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Hi @LooneyToones,thanks for thinking of me.Just said on another thread having a low moment but bit tired from up reviewing first aid,and cleaned a house this morning with the client being a "bit challenging".Got invitation yesterday bin the mail,opened it this morning,don't know what I'm going to do,but I know I can't go.Its on the day of my father's died many years ago,so I dont know if that makes its worse as it's always a day I reflect.I worry about facing people,and my uncle I don't want to see.I don't feel like I'm strong enough Looney Toons,I know it's awful.Past week my depression and distress have gone to a high level that is severely affecting my paranoia towards people.It's hard to be happy for someone when I'm so sad inside.Heard comments on Facebook the other day how people with depression need to practice "gratitude",be grateful,Yes it's alright to say when you don't endure unemployment,no money in your handbag etc.

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

LostblueContributor

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Just wanted to send *hugs* to @oceangirl and @Former-Member and everyone else.

For what it's worth, I hope you are doing ok and can hang in there.

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Thanks @Lostblue,welcome to the sadsacks!Lol

Just read on the Black dog institute site on social depression .It rings true with me as if I see someone I know in a shop,I avoid them and often triggers a episode and it says it "compromises self esteem"It also mentions shyness and bullying which I copped when young due to obesity, and I am "hypersensitive",which makes me crave food,so true to settle emotional dysfunction.Other symptoms ring true.This isn't bad reading and actually helpful insight into my state.Hope it can help others.And it reinforces what I have expressed my fears of going to the wedding @LooneyToones.

In response to: Re: Depression and loss of functioning

oceangirlSenior Contributor

Re: Depression and loss of functioning

Hi @Former-Member @Lostblue @LooneyToones @Bimby2 @jamesle2015

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