psychiatrist appt - terrified

I Have an appointment with my psychiatrist by telemed today. I'm feeling sick about it because i stopped taking one of my medications after court because of how they used it against me to make me sound like a deranged psychopathic liar. I take it to help me sleep but they kept repeating what the use of the tablet is usually prescribed for and now they're saying that if i'm taking that type of medication i can't be stable enough to be a parent. They also kept reading out the psychiatrists report from when i was first in hospital in January and making me say that i was severely mentally ill back then, and perhaps i could be now and either i was lying when i said i wasnt or i wasnt in a fit state to know if i was or not. I'm scared to say anything to the psychiatrist because anything he says or writes will be flipped and skewed by the lawyers for my ex in famlly court. Even if he writes i'm recovering well they'll just say that proves i was 'faking' it in january to put off court. It feels like no matter what i do say its going to be used against me and i just want it all to go away! I'm not doing so well, i know i'm not. But im so scared of telling anyone. our next court hearing is in a weeks time. I thought that a lot of this stuff, these games and stuff would be easier if i got a 'win' in court but its made no difference whatsoever because the 'best' thing for the children is seen as having their 'father' in their lives - until he hurts them. The police and psychologists have all said he will eventually but it doesnt matter to the courts.

Sorry, rant over, has anyone felt like they coudnt talk honestly with their mental health team/person/people?

LJ