Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
As you may or may not have noticed.. a few days ago my old account @dazedanais left The Forums.. I found myself so broken and unwanting of life and just felt like a complete burden. I had a massive breakdown and harmed myself a lot. I know I made a mistake in leaving these Forums, I have made so many nice, lovely friends and now I just feel as though I have messed it all up. It is all on me. I am sorry. I felt embarrassed of making an account again so early but I realised it was something I need.. because as pathetic as it sounds. You guys are the only people I have to talk to.
I have been breaking so incredibly hard. I have questioned my own safety and have also been too afraid to seek help for my current state. I feel so GUILTY for it. I am so sorry. I have felt like an annoyance too because of how unwell I have been and then everyone concentrates on my wellbeing and I think - you need to contentrate on YOURSELF not @dazedanais who is a complete stranger.. because I do not deserve anyone's time. I do not deserve it I am at such a low. Today alone I found myself needing and actually requiring an ambulance to be called after certain tendencies... I won't mention. Again this is all MY FAULT. I don't know why I am like this. I hate to be such a disappointment to you all and my actual family.
I am so so afraid. So afraid. I no longer feel safe with myself and I don't know what to do about it. I am afraid of the aggressive, condescending and punshments that would come out if I would need to go to hospital again.. so I am avoiding it. At the same time - I don't know if I can remain safe anymore.
I havent stopped crying all day, I feel so numb. I am back but again I am so so so SORRY. it is all my fault
Hi @ohanais Ive seen you around but not spoken personally to you. Sorry life is so hard for you right now, I think we all hear you when you say you don't want to be a burden, funny how we all get it. You are worth everything you need. Stay safe.
In response to: Re: i found myself broken
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@ohanais, I noticed you had left and felt sad. Welcome back!
I too have been in very dark places, and hear your pain. Sending love and healing.
In response to: Re: i found myself broken
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
Hello @ohanais
I am another train traveller.
I often read but sometimes I also just like to stare out the window or people watch!
Sometimes that becomes social. I had a lovely spontaneous moment last night on a very crowded bus where the jolting made us all laugh and be friends for 20 mins.
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@Former-Member
The people on here are good people, just struggling. I always felt like a bad person for feeling for being the way I am, because that is how I was brought up to feel like. I was brought up and taught that feelings are bad and deserves punishment and that you should simply choose happiness.
Thank you very much x
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@Zoe7
There is always a feel or need to reply - because obviously I wouldn't want to seem I am rude or ignoring anyone. You have been a huge help for me 💕💕💕
I am just questioning the best place I should be right now - due to the reason that I do not have any supports in the community and find myself feeling unsafe and at breaking point. So really, in these situations, the only choice is hospital.. but it is difficult as my family's reaction is never good and let's face it - nobody wants to be in hospital or to get to that point. I am totally sick of finding myself always back in the same place but I have been abandoned by everything and everyone else , so I truly don't know what else they would expect from me. 😞
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@soul
I love The Beatles. thankyou for this quote - I will cherish it and keep it nearby when I find myself lonely and a bother.
The response has taken my breath away - I feel so close to tears by just seeing how everyone has been so loving and understanding in my disappearance and reappearance.
Please know the same back 💜 I really do hate always talking about myself, let me know a bit about @soul
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
I really appreciate it wholeheartedly @Faith-and-Hope💜💕❣
I need you all right now more than you may ever know. Thank you for being there. Just seeing your avatar come up is such a relief - I always love hearing from you. I hope you are well Faith-and-Hope , as I always wish
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@TAB
It would be awkward to have two people trying to fit in the same shoes, wouldn't it? lol.. but we can share similar shoes and have similar patterns or colours. Maybe even the same sized shoe. We all have our similarities in which we can truly understand at an empathetic level but also have our differences. That's the beauty of it all x
In response to: Re: i found myself broken
soulSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
Hi @ohanais - your Forum family are here for you - giving what they can and hopefully what you need. Glad that you are seeing the love and are feeling it too. You matter - don't forget that.
In response to: i found myself broken
ohanaisSenior Contributor
Re: i found myself broken
@Former-Member
I hope your morning is well and that you are doing better or have a better day than your recent ones 💜💕 It's a very tricky spot feeling so so so very low 24/7 as I am finding myself in that spot currently, and have so for 6 years 💔 Nobody should feel like this. It just breaks my heart. I am glad you have found some joy in your life, and hoping that one of them may be here at the Forums. Or at least, I hope it provides some comfort. Anything ❣❣❣
Thank you Bella3 , I just feel so extremely stuck at this current point and really do not know what to do or my next move.. whether that is helpful or destructive or permanent. i don't know what is going to happen next. I feel so so awful and the response here in just returning has really warmed me. I didn't even think that people realised that I was present in the Forums 💜
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
