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So I've come to the conclusion that I need to continue to live, survive the daily battles. For everyone that loves me. I've understood that I have to take responsibility and that I have to participate in day to day life and also start earning a living again.
As I am writing this I can see the flaw in my thinking. I understand things on an intellectual level. I've also understood on an emotional level that it would have a traumatic impact on everyone who loves me if I hurt myself.
I think @Former-Member has deleted the option for me to delete my profile, so I am still here on this forum.
I'm not really having a good run at the moment. I know I should go to hospital, but I cannot for personal reasons. Carpe diem they say, "seize the day". I have found a completely new meaning for this. Today is the only thing that exists as I do not see a future anymore.
In response to: Now what?
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Now what?
@Former-Member you delete it yourself in the settings section you can only do it on the computer
Im sorry your having a rough time
In response to: Re: Now what?
Unknown userMember
Re: Now what?
Hi @Former-Member I'm sorry to read that you want to leave, but respect your right to if the forums aren't a helpful space. I hope that you are safe right now, if things are really bad please get some support for yourself, from life line or suicide call back etc. Even if hospital isnt an option for you at the moment could you talk to your GP? Forums will be here for you if you do stay, but please look after you in what ever way is best for you, Take care
In response to: Now what?
Unknown userMember
Re: Now what?
Hi @NikNik
Please keep my account open. Often I feel overwhelmed and when I'm angry I do silly things. I've been told many times just to wait 24hrs, but when I'm in rage, I cannot stop myself.
In response to: Re: Now what?
NikNikSenior Contributor
Re: Now what?
Will do @Former-Member Glad you're wanting to stay.
Well said @Former-Member
In response to: Now what?
Unknown userMember
Re: Now what?
Another day, another day to get through.
Queen's "I got to break free" is on the radio. I wish! I have the radio on nowadays as I keep listening to the same depressing music on my phone and at least on the radio there's different music and a bit of talking.
I probably repeat what I have said before. But then it seems like I keep spinning on a spot.
I fill my day with activities and I try to follow my care plan - so I can stay at home for the next few weeks. But whenever I have a moment and think about the future, I cannot see it anymore. I think I will go and do some painting now.
In response to: Now what?
Unknown userMember
Re: Now what?
Hi @Former-Member sorry I meant to reply earlier. You're not paying yourself though the feelings are staying the same somewhat (flute me too!) And its better to say it somewhere! What are you painting today? Hope that it's helped
In response to: Re: Now what?
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Now what?
its hard i know @Former-Member
hope painting does some good for you today
In response to: Now what?
Unknown userMember
Re: Now what?
Hi @outlander and @Former-Member
I haven't started painting yet. I feel buggered from being out and about most of the day. Having some quiet time now.
I've got a large canvas and want to work with different medium. Little stones, sand, leaves... and do all the body work and later paint over it in colour. I just got to get started. My painting room is warm again now, so I can get back to it.
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