not coping

just trying to get through @Emelia8 too many panic attacks today and the night hasnt even started yet where it gets worse.
whatsve you been up to

might be uncomfortable and abit difficult to do things for a little while hey @Emelia8 ut the fact you can do some things is a good sign hopefully things will keep improving.

it was only this week 😞 and the past few weeks of harrassment from the people that done what they done on mid week @Emelia8 its like its triggerred a whole new ptsd thing with 'made up' dreams like my minds making up the what if scenarios which makes it hard to go outside, sleep, etc. the doors and windows are always locked now and any noise has me jumping and looking out windows or the door peep hole or keeping the house quiet and the cars locked and alarmed at all time. what makes it hard is that pop didnt even know what was happening because of the words they used he thought they were related and yelled at me because i was rude to them. i know one thing now and thats i now have to be the protector of the home and having a guy in the house doesnt make me feel any safer. its also more work because i have to make sure if i even go up the road i need to bring him with me or make sure he is safe with someone watching him so that i feel better. he doesnt even remember what happened which is both good and bad.
security system isnt up and running yet but hopefully it should be working properly and connected by wednesday/thursday but has me worried that im going to constantly jumping at every msg i get from the system (it texts me every time movement is sensed and takes photos till whatever has been sensed is out of range)

@Eve7 @Anastasia

yes and no @Anastasia
im ok-safe etc but not really feeling that ok atm

Of course ill have you, your always always welcome here! @Anastasia i appreciate it