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not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:11 pm AEST

Re: not coping

i cant @Snowie ive already commited to the sale. mum will probably help pay for her anyway or i hope so.
its wrong for me to be possesive over a horse. im sorry

In response to: Re: not coping

Shaz51Senior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:15 pm AEST

Re: not coping

it is not wrong @outlander

it is understandable to have all those different emotions

and it is good to talk about it here and then you are not dwelling on it

you are a wonderful sister and hoping one day your real sisters will see it xoxo

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:15 pm AEST

Re: not coping

i said to mum that you know my sister will have to share her at least
she said yeah i know
i said she can ride her but ill keep her. apparently im not allowed to say that.

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:20 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander wrote:
i said she can ride her but ill keep her. apparently im not allowed to say that.

I am so cross at your family! @outlander

They don't deserve you.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:48 pm AEST

Re: not coping

thanks @NatureLover @Shaz51

guess ill just have to try and accept she wont be mine and get over it just like everything else

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:48 pm AEST

Re: not coping

im sorry for making you mad. its frustrating here too

In response to: Re: not coping

Shaz51Senior Contributor12 July 2020, 1:50 pm AEST

Re: not coping

awww it is not right my @outlander ❤❤🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💙💙💜💜

In response to: Re: not coping

Sans911Senior Contributor12 July 2020, 2:10 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander - I can only echo what others have said. Your mother should pay for the horse. You're a great daughter, sister and person.

And I totally get the not having anything of your own. When I lived in the care home I had nothing of my own either. Not even my own clothes. Other kids stole them. Even the ones my foster mother made me. So she stopped sending me back in them. So now, even loaning things to friends or family is hard. So it's not selfish at all.

I think I might have walked away from a family liked yours a long time ago. They treat you terribly and I'm torn between feeling angry, sad and frustrated. But you have such a sense of duty and loyalty, which is admiral. But it's also taking an enormous toll on you.

I'm glad you are my lil Sis here. I see so much potential in you that is yet to come. But I so wish I could do more in a practical sense. Know this- you will always have my love, even if I was to meet you in rl. It's unconditional and endless. There's nothing you could do or say to change that. 💕💕💕

@Snowie @Shaz51 @Eve7 @NatureLover

In response to: Re: not coping

NatureLoverSenior Contributor12 July 2020, 2:18 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@Sans911 wrote:
I think I might have walked away from a family liked yours a long time ago.

I would, too. 😞

@outlander

In response to: not coping

Eve7Senior Contributor12 July 2020, 3:43 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Dear @outlander

It’s a privilege to know you and thank you for tagging me.

I have watched you give and give until you had nothing left to give and still they want to take from you.

I don’t want to promote bitterness or unkindness but I’ll just say “people reap what they Sow”. You will reap kindness, generosity and commitment. They won’t.

Horses aren’t stupid and I believe this horse will always know its true owner and probably won’t bond with anyone else.

You have support here and I just hope you will one day know this in real life.

Love you to the border and back and always here for you.

💙💜💙🤗🤗🤗

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