not coping

i dont like going to them @Snowie i find it very hard to connect and i dont really want to start with an 8th counsellor. i find it to hard to talk about family or trauma so it almost feels pointless in going. i have already learnt a heap of coping strategies and thats basically all that gets worked on. i dont have alot of time right now anyway.

I'm sorry you can't get the help you need and deserve lil Sis @outlander 💕 💕 💕

I will keep you company with @Snowie

pop doesnt make life easy @Eve7 any attempt to try and get more supports around the place he either gets mad or thinks they are sending him to anursing home so when they come here i have to stay close by. i hope that maybe in the next week or 2 he will accept the help so that i can actually use the time for a break.

its hard with mums work i cant ask for too many days of because she doesnt get paid leave, sick leave or anything like that basically however much she works is what her pay is. makes me feel guilty for even asking for a day off, so i try to use her days off to get what i need done

@Snowie @Sans911 💜💚

trying to work up the courage to try and make something for dinner. i know whats going to happen afterwards though and i would really like to sleep tonight 😞

yeah @Snowie i will try

How are you tonight?

@Eve7 @Sans911 how are you guys as well?

he is like 2 different people @Eve7 when they come around he says he wants them here more often and that he gets lonely etc but as soon as they leave theres a whole other side to him.
I have explained that they arent here to take him to a nursing home, they are here to help us to do some housework and to keep us company. i dont say him-i say us or we otherwise it seems like its directed at him but it doesnt work. he seems his geriatritian in another month to see changes and get another assessment done. he wont be happy with what i will have to tell them so im going to see if i can talk to them privately. hes not ready for a nursing home but he needs to try and accept the carer. they are only here once a week for 2 hours. its not much but it would be helpful if i didnt have to deal with the fall out the next few days. he is very angry at me the past few days because i didnt register the trailor before it needed a blue slip. 'its my fault because i didnt tell him'. 'its my fault because its my job to do all these things' and ive been hearing this every day several times a day for the past week.
i snapped at him today and told him that was enough and to get over it and that its just a stupid trailor and is the least of my worries. that i need to register our 2 cars first and then he got angry and started the blame game and brought up the horse float saying i should sell it because its never used etc (it is but not atm due to covid restrictions)


@Sans911 @Snowie