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Something’s not right

not coping

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

18135 replies

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In response to: not coping

Re: not coping

I'm glad to hear you get along well with your siblings. I fought so much with mine, especially the youngest sister. But that's the one I live next door to now and we are very close - but, we still argue lol @outlander

As for your treatments, I'm glad they have given you some form of a normal life. It must be so difficult, being so young and have your life 'taken away' because of health.

This really speaks to your strength and resilience. As I've said before, you've got such a large heart for everyone. Just make sure you leave your heart for yourself too!

Hugs.

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

we argue at times @tyme but we grew up in some tough situations within the household so we found a way to band together i guess. we almost live different lives but still get along.

only 2 years ago i wasnt able to walk and didnt know if i was going to be able to walk again and when i was able to walk i had to be in moonboots or use crutches and scooters etc to get around. i was often told i was crazy and it was in my head so to speak or attention seeking because my injuries were no longer visible but after searching constantly for answers and spending around 12k in specialists, tests, trying treatments etc i was able to get a diagnosis. its incurable but at least theres management now and not everyone qualifies for it but im lucky i did otherwise i probably wouldnt be working. its probably been 9 months now since ive had to use my crutches at all. its why pain management is so important to me

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

That's such an incredible journey to share @outlander . I had a colleague in the past who went through something very very similar. She would be walking and suddenly collapse. She went through test after test after test and they didn't know what was wrong. Finally, they said it was in her head.

But she was persistent and continued fighting to say that something was wrong and it wasn't in her head. In the end, they discovered what it was (I actually don't remember what it was). But she couldn't walk without the aid of a walking stick for years. Imagine a person in their 20s with a walking stick? That's so hard. So I can only imagine how hard it is for you.

For me, (this is not a comparison), I have arthritis in my toes. I have special splints in my orthotics to help me walk. This was from when I was in my early 30s. Even that was hard enough! That was when I realised how important being able to walk is. Without being able to walk, I had the issue of then not being able to exercise as much (unless it was swimming). Otherwise, you pretty much have to walk for everything!

So I'm hearing you. My little pain in my toes is nothing in the light of your pain. Yet is enables me, and others, to realise how resilient you are.

Good on you. You're such a fighter.

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

@tyme yes i can imagine. i was only 24 when i was diagnosed with this condition . it was and still is a tough journey. i cant even use my toes yet. i have no movement and surgery still may be on the cards to fuse the bones as yet but im not keen on that idea anytime soon.
its tough having foot pain, its like an annoyance!
i definently took walking for granted to. im so lucky to be able to go on my near daily walks now even if i struggle or its only a short istance/time frame.
i use orthotics too, theyve been quite a big help for me too! but the ones i had to get were so expensive. i told my poditrist to never let my feet change shape unless its an improvement lol.

i am waiting on another diagnosis to do with me heart that ill find out more on wednesday as well which may be part of the answer to my fatigue, energy levels, inability to concentrate sometimes, heat intolerance (like if my showers to hot i feel like ill pass out and i run out of so much energy that i have to turn the shower off to recover) plus the heart problems ive been having. another rare condition to add to the collection lol

i find my pain journey while its been awful i feel like helping people who are in pain is a path i want to go down more so with peer support. i want to support the carers and help those who are in pain access rescources or become a peer supporter to help guide them on their journey too

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

Thank you for sharing. It sounds so difficult as it's as though each condition leads into the next @outlander .

You are a walking wonder.

And yes, orthotics are expensive. But one thing i remember my mum saying is that you need to look after your feet no matter how much it costs because your feet and the way you walk affect your hips and your spine. Even as kids, we didn't have much, but we always got new shoes every year. Not the pretty shiny shoes, but the ones specially made and fitted by professionals. So yeah, the orthotics help a lot and I'm willing for fork out for them, but the problem then lies with, what shoes do I wear? Unless they are sneaker or tailor made shoes, it's so hard to get the right shoe for orthotics, even if you get a size or 2 larger.

So as it stands, i have an amazing pair of sneakers that need to go out because they are so worn. However, they are one of the only pairs of shoes that do the trick with the orthotics... Oh well, we'll just keep trying.

As I said, my arthritis is minimal in the light of your health.

I just want to assure you that you really do have so many qualities to make you a great peer worker. Keep looking. There are over the phone roles too. You would be so amazing and understanding.

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

it is crazy some things we have to o just to get the basics like shoes sorted out @tyme i wasnt able to wear shoes for close to 6 months possibly longer then that and then it was only slide type shoes or crocs lol

i guess we just have to find what works!

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

Absolutely @outlander . It's about finding what works, even though what works can change at any moment!

Oh well, that makes us know that life will never be 'boring'.

Please take care. I'm off for now, but hope to chat over the weekend.

Hugs.

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

Life is often a challange @tyme that’s for sure!

I’m off to bed now. Have a dreaded 5am start but an earlier finish tomorrow so yay

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

Hi my dear @outlander

Sorry, I feel asleep last night but glad you had @tyme by your side.

I hope your shift is going ok today hon. Speak soon sis 💜💜

In response to: Re: not coping

Re: not coping

its getting along ok @Snowie clients are sleeping in. one client is up had breakfast and showered but they are going out in about an hour. the other client is in bed and probably wont be up till 11 or 1130 now
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