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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 4:46 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I'm sure you will find things to do with your time @outlander You always seem to be so busy and on the go. Maybe some time out for yourself.

Been watching some episodes of BBT today. Still my to go show.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 4:49 pm AEST

Re: not coping

id rather be busy @Snowie
wednesday is work thursday is work friday is appts for 24hr testing till sat then sat work sunday off then i have more days off. im getting plenty of days off but its because of pop not because i cant work. its getting very frustrating.

i havent watched bbt much lately but its on my saved watch lists so that when i get medical treatment or need something in the background i can put it on

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 4:53 pm AEST

Re: not coping

I know you would rather be busy hon @outlander

I'm sorry looking after your pop restricts you from working so much.

Hopefully you hear about care for him as soon as possible.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:00 pm AEST

Re: not coping

hes on a couple of wait lists now @Snowie i dont know how its going to go down as the family fight tooth and nail about it as well but no one wants the full responsibility. will just have to wait and see when it comes to the crunch i guess. just because they help on weekends doesnt mean its all over for me. so once a placement comes up ill speak to the 2 people who have been helping and again give them the one option to either have full time care of him or he goes to a home. they cant say they werent warned because ive already spoken to them several times about it

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:05 pm AEST

Re: not coping

When push comes to shove most people don't want that responsibility @outlander

Your family have been lucky that you have taken it on for as long as you have. At this stage in your life you deserve not to have that responsibility placed on your shoulders.

Perhaps your family will realise just how much you do for your pop.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:10 pm AEST

Re: not coping

id like to see the person fighting me the most on it have him for 6 months and see how they would cope. the job they work now would need to be changed as well as all their upcoming travel plans. @Snowie they dont realise how much it takes to be a home carer. if i was aged myself or retired sure this wouldnt be a problem but that would probbaly be because it was a partner not a faily member that shouldnt really be my problem.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:37 pm AEST

Re: not coping

It shouldn't be put on your shoulders @outlander at such a young age. You have your whole life ahead of you.

A lot of people don't realise how hard, demanding and time consuming it is. I know when my Dad was terminally ill, it was a lot for me and I wasn't his primary caregiver, it was my mum. But seeing all that she endured, it is a lot for one person to cope with.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:47 pm AEST

Re: not coping

it is hard @Snowie
its not a one person job thats for sure but even with the little familiy support which im greatful for its not enough at this stage of his life or mine.

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:52 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Sounds like he needs 24hr care @outlander which no one person can give him.

Work shouldn't be that break for you either. Everyone needs time to themselves.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor11 Sept 2023, 5:54 pm AEST

Re: not coping

work isnt a break @Snowie he comes with me most of the time now
its alot for him to but i need the $ i try to keep it minimal most of the time or stick with weekends xcept the new job as it goes well with when hes at day programs.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.