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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Sept 2023, 6:07 pm AEST

Re: not coping

i am to a point where i am so burnout but i cant stop. im my own worst enemy sometimes and is one of the things my psych is working on as well @Jynx but i dont really like the meditation things shes sending me to do as homework

carers australia and carers gateway are hopeless. when i needed them the most they said they couldnt help so i wont reach out to them. i willl stick with a support worker which im trying to find another one within budget since i have to pay for everything. and the psych appts every fortnight or when i can afford them but they are priority in my budgeting at the moment

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator04 Sept 2023, 6:17 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander what do you not like about them? Meditation comes in many different forms and so what works for some may not work for others. You could try to find your own on youtube or something and see if there's a method that feels better for you.

My understanding was that carers aus could provide counselling as well as support services if you called their helpline, no? Might not solve anything but having someone to chat to is always helpful in my experience.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Sept 2023, 6:26 pm AEST

Re: not coping

i just dont really like them @Jynx shes sent me PMR to try but its so long and just bores me. they all actually bore me which is probably why i dont find it helpful.
she gave me the thoughts on the stream exercise but i dont really like it either.
she is trying to help my brain slow down and find ways to calm without feeling like i need to be excessively busy all the time

one of the things i am working on is colouring in or doing an activity like find a words or something like that that requires sitting and relaxing abit more but still a little engaged and working through my emotions that come up while im relaxing and taking time out. the support worker i have at the moment doesnt really seem to be helpful in knowing how to help me when i cant tell them whats happening. i need someone to sort of be able to recognise when im not ok and help me through it when i cant use my voice.

they can provide some counselling but i didnt find it helpful. because im on the right track technically with everything it seems no one knows how to guide me. the psych i have is more helpful then them so ill just stick with her

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator04 Sept 2023, 6:45 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander you might be similar to me then, most meditations also bore me - got that permanent restlessness from my ADHD. So I reckon you're onto something with mindful activities like colouring and stuff. I also find exercise helpful - if I can't get out for a walk, I'll do stuff like dance around my kitchen or do some stretches and stuff.

Hmm with your support worker, could you write up like a 'signs I'm not doing well' type thing and include ways to approach it, like what you find helpful or have some emotions/communications cards or something if you find yourself going non-verbal. There's heaps of resources out there for stuff like that, the ones for autistic folks are really great.

Glad your psych is supportive for you then 😊

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Sept 2023, 6:58 pm AEST

Re: not coping

yes i tend to find something thats a little more engaging i still find it hard to relax and sit still either way esp for longer periods of time @Jynx
my body is stuck in flight and fight mode usually and feel like i have to keep moving or be doing something even when im am exhausted and i will constantly take on more and more things to keep myself busy esp when im struggling.

im not sure. we use alot of our support time to talk about work as she also is an independent worker so she runs the company and also wants to consider hiring me so it might be better for me to find anther support worker in the longer term anyway

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator04 Sept 2023, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: not coping

@outlander yeah it can be so tough. For me, 'relaxing' is never just sitting still not doing anything, it usually involves watching something, reading, playing a video game or D&D. Constant mental stimulation. Might not be the best tbh 😅 I hope we can both find ways to slow down hey.

Hmm yeah sounds like a good contact to have, but maybe not ideal for support? Unless you do find yourself feeling better afterwards, sometimes even just connecting with someone is beneficial for us hey.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Sept 2023, 9:36 pm AEST

Re: not coping

relaxing for me is never relaxing either @Jynx im always doing something

she is a really good person, she is lovely and she would make a good friend. but i think another support worker would be helpful

In response to: Re: not coping

JynxModerator04 Sept 2023, 9:41 pm AEST

Re: not coping

Yeah I feel that @outlander hence why it's good for both of us to be able to find things that we can do to keep busy but that are also relaxing at the same time. I find cooking to be quite good for this - as long as it's not a new recipe I'm trying out that goes wonky 😅

I hope it's easy to make a switch to a new one? And then keep the old one as a good contact/maybe friend if it's mutual and not an ethical conflict 😊

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Sept 2023, 10:32 pm AEST

Re: not coping

exactly @Jynx its almost dangerous for me not to be doing something.

ill make some enquires for someone new. it might take some time but sometimes a job opportunity and a better contact is better then keeping them as a support worker. will reduce the conflict of interest to i guess

In response to: Re: not coping

SnowieSenior Contributor05 Sept 2023, 10:49 am AEST

Re: not coping

Good morning @outlander

Sorry to hear things have been hard lately. You certainly deserve a lot better.

Sending pile of love and hugs your way hon 💗💗

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.