not coping

MH and working is hard. @outlander. Having health problems would make it doubly as hard.

I’ve noticed I seem to get sick quite easily. It never use to be like that. Mum is all ways saying ‘oh you are always sick’ but I think when I’m really struggling it makes me more susceptible.

Maybe if your friend does feel the same, it could be an opportunity for you both to connect and share about these feelings and how they impact you @outlander. Unless she's not able to recognise it in herself yet, it would be tricky if she got defensive.

But if you're able to recognise these thoughts within yourself, then you have a better opportunity to be able to change them. Maybe you could take the time to re-read all the messages you got in response to your experiences tonight, and remember them, so when these thoughts pop up you have stuff you can say in return.

Totally fair @outlander you gotta pick your time to have these kinds of conversations. Conflict is a difficult one hey, I used to be very conflict-avoidant my own self. I learned that it is necessary though, it is through conflict that we can better define boundaries, assert our needs, and learn about ourselves and also about the other person. Without conflict, relationships can easily stagnate, and sometimes result in us putting up with things that aren't good for our mental health. When I learned how to do conflict well, it meant that some relationships did end - but I am now glad they did, cos we actually just weren't compatible.

I'm not saying you are wrong to choose not to confront her though, not at all. We gotta do things when we're ready. Just wanted to share a difficult life lesson I've learned about conflict avoidance, because it used to get me into a lot of trouble and created some very unhealthy relationships in my past. But right now it sounds like you are focusing on just your own health n wellbeing and if that means you gotta park those kinds of things then that is also a healthy choice to make.

@outlander aww sounds wholesome. Might just be a trigger like you say. Maybe you could ask her for some tips on assertiveness! And yeah maybe talking about health stuff is just a personal boundary you can have for now (you don't have to communicate it to her unless it comes up, if that makes it easier - and if it does come up, you can always just say "I'm just not in the right headspace to talk about this right now" or something like that).

Oh @outlander you have not failed as a human. Quite the opposite, you are such a precious person always willing to put others first. You are so kind and supportive and I am angry at those who make such unfounded cruel judgements of you.

💜💜💜