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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 3:56 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

I've been thinking on this a bit, and it seems you've accepted this as "the normal thing". You can't go about running in circles like that.

You deserve to be happy.. here and now... not just in past memories. Say YES:)

Once you say yes, read my story in brief

I had become so hopeless with my life that I thought it was pointless talking to people because no-one seemed to understand me. I actually started writing taking a pen and paper... all the negative thoughts and feelings... every bit that made me a sad person and I thought I did not deserve. I thought if we exist, there must be a power/creator and so he is accountable to our problems.

Before I knew, my feelings of sadness/heaviness began to subside. I still do maintain that journal when I feel things have started bottling up inside.

Now I understand the way it works, the reason we find hard to get rid of our thoughts is because we are not letting them out - reason being we can't find anyone trustworthy enough to talk to regarding them. Sometimes not even family,friends or the professionals/therapists. That can be a harsh reality we live in but its certainly not end of the road.

So, I found the only person I can trust is myself and while writing I was sort of talking to myself. I don't know how, but it has helped me a lot. But be patient as there can be so many things stuck for years together, I filled up pages writing non-stop.

So, know that you deserve to be happy and make this a non-negotiable aspect of your life... and then write everything thats coming in your way. When you put yourself first, other things in your life start shaping to support you... to create the world of your dreams.

Hope you'll start breaking some of those vicious cycles.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 4:24 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @Former-Member, hope you are feeling better today.

Re sciatic pain, have you considered yoga or reiki yet. I swear by both... can't help sharing.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 9:11 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @Friendconnect I know a positive prospective always helps and works wonders actually. Are you on any medications?

Thanks for the advice. It's very wise. I've kept a journal for about 6 years now... Eude.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 9:22 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect

I go through good and bad patches. And have times of wellness and episodes of illness. (I'm not sure what it is all caused bye) because there's always different factors involved.

Eude.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 10:21 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism,
Its great to hear that you've been doing the writing work.

I was on medications for a short while... not anymore. Infact I just existed like a zombie on them and think I never needed them. Even that short period taught me some important lessons and I have had to evaluate and reprioritise some major things in life.

I had to put myself above any of the closest ones, even if it meant abandoning them for a while... And it was logical as I could not afford to ignore my own needs anymore. I had been sacrificing too much of myself and was literally empty.

I now try to make sure I know what my wants/boundaries are and I would not negotiate for anyone. It's been a lot of self work and is an ongoing journey.

I do understand it's easier said than done, I am just trying to highlight that things can get back to where they were. I am no expert, but I found journalling, Meditation and Reiki to be life saving.

That's enough of details I think, it may have some elements that might help you - ultimately everyone has to fight one's own battles.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor22 Feb 2018, 10:54 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect

That's a positive story. I'm sure there's much more you could tell?

Yea. It's been a largely negative story for myself so far. Lots of stuff has gone wrong. And I've been left with limited supports and limited options. I suppose that's just how the story goes for people with problems.

I mould myself to whom I'm around in my real life. And there's others who are on medication, have problems... There's been differences in our ambitions, intentions and motives in life... I've had some major yet preventable set backs...

The odds have been stacked against me. From a very young age. And it's frustrating to think defeat is my only option. Defeat which the world around me and agreed with, cooperated with, contributed to, or fed from... For their own benefits.

I've just resigned to accepting the ups and downs. Although apart of that is expressing it. And it is possible induced my the aqua phase injection and other substances and variables. Such as, environmental, social, anniversaries and yearly events.

The medication is a huge influence. On all areas of my life...

Eude.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor23 Feb 2018, 11:14 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

I have been reading few articles on psychology and few things would resonate with most people. The root of most of our fears is childhood, its same for me. I have lived my life with big fears that have kept me from speaking my truth and led to the build up of negative emotions inside. More often than not, we dont express our true feelings coz we are afraid of losing people. That is not love( as I understood before), thats pure FEAR and I needed to get rid of that and medicines wouldn't help much with that.

It grew to the extreme as I told earlier, till I reached a point where fear of losing myself grew bigger than fear of losing others. That was the turning point.

I'll just leave you with the following if you appreciate

Let go of what happened in the past, its gone and is a lost opportunity. But every new day is a new life.

But take full responsibility of whats happening today and plan for your bright future( one thing at a time). If you like something , say so and if you don't like something you must say so. Let there be nothing that you can regret on from now on. Unless you are trying to harm anyone, people will understand. When they know the NEW you, they'll have a choice, either to stay as per your conditions or leave. You shouldn't be afraid of any of that.

You don't like how some people treat you.. say it. If your medicines are not helping you, tell your physician he needs to do a better job. Try a new physician, or perhaps try alternatives therapies along with your medicines.

You need to take charge of your happiness, because no one else can. Even god helps those who help themselves. So, you'll need to take action for yourself. All this is not a day's job, remember the long painful journey that has led you to this point, its about taking small steps to make your today slightly better than yesterday, and continuing each day like that.

You may want to take as long as you wish to decide on this, but the moment you take charge - rest assured your life will never be the same post that.

I am not sure I can do any more than this... but the reason I am here is I have been through this and have witnessed how changing one's attitude towards life can change everything. Enjoy your day...

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember23 Feb 2018, 1:11 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism @Friendconnect

keep on writing your thoughts here....you are both coming from different corners and can communicate and listen to each other...

I am taking some time back from the forums...I will appear at random times...briefly..

my health has to come first now...my sciatic pain is strong and I have the other operation in four weeks..

nice to meet you....even though brief

@Friendconnect...I was looking to start tai chi...then this back dilemma showed up accidentally...fortuitous my husband describes it as...I agree ...am still coming to terms with anger that it is there...I will also return to the swimming pool when able...

I have always eaten nutritiously....I have always been fitter than my age...isolating myself undid some of that...2 months ago I did not know that I was going to have to face major surgery for a tumour more than likely benign....we do not know what tomorrow will bring..

make the most of every day even if you only get to get out of bed and go into the garden...

the past is past....we only have the now...a second passes and.... what was the now.... has become the past...we have no control over what will happen in the next second...the future..not written yet..

so stand up... be proud for all that you have achieved so far... against such adversity at times..

once I have had the operation I will be out of action for some time also...

please do not think that I have given up on you or forgotten you or think any less of you...

you have become an important person in my virtual world with all of our communications over quite some time now Eude...

if you are still here I shall respond to you also @Friendconnect

I will write on here when I am able....

take care

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

FriendconnectSenior Contributor23 Feb 2018, 3:49 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member
Nice to see you fighting with whatever life is throwing... that's all is needed.
Fortuitous.. might be hurtful at this time but I agree with your husband 🙂 because another learning in my life is that everything has a reason... we can at best deal with it.. learn from it and look forward.

I like your spirit.. inspiring indeed. I am pretty coward when it comes to surgeries and all. I think it's my own fear that's leading me to offer you some healing energy as I am reiki certified myself.
It can help avoid surgery/quicker recovery. You don't have to believe in me or reiki or do anything, just believe that things can change for better and permit me to send distant reiki to you. As non sense as it may sound, you have got nothing to lose by trying it.

@eudemonism,
I would be happy to do it for you too, only if you're open to believing that things can change for better.

It's great to be able to understand different perspectives and I appreciate to be able to learn from other people's experiences.
Do plan to be here for as long as I can, all I am looking to do next are some studies that I have wanted to do since long.

Keep in touch both of you...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor23 Feb 2018, 5:48 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi @Former-Member all I can recommend is prayer and practical life giving activities. And after saying what you have to... Wait for the reply which is to your liking... And best serves you... I believe all minds have the power for greatness and the ability to be good in all they do... I hope that helps... I find its a good way to strengthen and receive our own compassion, kindness, love, understanding, acceptance, Insight, among many other things you may find. A little bit of this each day may help... Eude

@Friendconnect I believe it's so important to have faith and the empowerment needed to find what we're needing to deal with our circumstances from within. I believe it's a crucial element that main stream avoids. Because it takes away this development of dependency on another. Which is apart of their cause and motives in life. Which the sick, the weak and vulnerable, the addicted, the mentally ill. And so on. Are susceptible to being exposed to. Which brings me to another point. We must accept we are needed as much as we need. (for whatever it maybe) among the other traits in life which consist of mentally and psychically ... (spiritual in there somewhere) giving what we get. Getting what we give. And a balance of giving and taking. And taking and giving. With, our own personal needs and wants. (what ever they be) in there somewhere. Which are respected, considered and regarded highly... These traits which go to and fro. Can consist of a number of many good things about -which are of our choosing!. And faith that it comes from somewhere. The universe. Karma. God. Our conscience. Or other beings or living things. Like, respect, integrity, honour, understanding, accepting, openness, discipline, motivation, support, love, care, allowances, compassion, kindness, humour, and so on. All the good stiff which is needed to be healthy and happy. (I could go into describe and explain mode (but won't) ... Eude.

I once heard there is around 1,800 words to describe the personality, character and mentality of someone. Which intrigued me greatly. Do you know anything about these words in this category of words?

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