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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember20 Sept 2017, 12:19 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

it does sound as though your cup runneth over re your daily events

avoiding stress paramount for us all....needs constant reminding in my case. Always forgetting where I am on the list still...a work in progress...

I am in the throes of retiring now...current situation has exasperated my health too much now...so goodbye to paid work...will look into going back to volunteering next year

worked professionally previously...did not complete university though...can't reveal anymore for privacy reasons

I would love to write myself....on the list ...possibly one day...fiction though..

@Adek Skin specialist thumbs up...senile warts and moles!,,,apparently senile warts (large freckles ) appear at the age of 40...

@eudemonismpleased to read about your ideas....books.....order in at library? Good idea...I do that too......all the best with giving up the cigarettes...very hard...so be kind to yourself...reducing gradually is a good outcome to start with too...my husband has been trying for over 15 months....he has cut right back which is better than nothing...especially health wise.....

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 3:06 am AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I think cynicism and realism are two completely different things. I'm not saying i ain't practiced both at some stage or another. But they're definitely different. I've had a tough old journey through life so far. For many different reasons... and it probably aint going to get any easier any time soon.

I got a few things that make it somewhat easier.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 2:23 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

That is such a true distinction @eudemonism I wholeheartedly agree.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2017, 2:58 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

cynicism and realism are totally different...quite right

I feel as though my responding on here gets under your skin now for some reason

I can honestly say to you....hand on heart....I have always tried to consider your feelings...your pain....

If you knew me personally you would know that I am the last person on earth to ever want to hurt someone's feelings....in fact this has come at a cost to me......

I can be cynical in my attitude towards large corporations...part of the medical system....sincerity of some people who work in those areas.....I have been badly burnt by them

I do not want to upset you or cause you any further pain....

Would you prefer that I stop writing on this thread?......If this makes you more at ease I will do this for you...I sincerely want you to continue using this thread for yourself....if that means my leaving ...so be it..

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 3:14 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Nah keep writing @Former-Member im honestly not bothered. Im just upset that my life is what it is. Because of the world and the people around me. Like in the flesh. In the psychical. Day to day stuff.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 3:24 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I get stuck and caught up on. Hurtful things people have done. And hurtful things that are happening tp me. Which i am pretty much out of control of. And cannot do anything about. Being used is one of them. Committing to helping people through social supporting them is another. And it drains me of vital energy. When it's happening and also in my private time. And it can sometimes seem like i have no other options for things to do. Apart from feed the energy vampires in my life.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2017, 3:32 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

thank you so much @eudemonism

I believe you when you say how hard your life is and hence I wanted to make sure that I wasn't just making it worse for you.

keep on writing....I know when I write it does help me...I am not in a good place at the moment....anxiety high...depression hanging around.. lurking in the background...

writing out my thoughts and responding to others helps me too

your taking the time to write back what you did has helped me immensely...thank you..confirms that you are a caring considerate person

dealing with day to day stuff is the absolute pits sometimes....

when I have to spend time with family whom I don't like I tell myself that I am doing it for my husband and myself not them. It is what it is and the time will pass. All they have to do is respect me.

I don't think that you are referring to family....whoever the people are they need to know what you will and won't tolerate......called setting boundaries....hard to do at times but part of being kind to ourselves

hope that you get to read some of those books that you wrote about earlier

thank you again

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2017, 3:35 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

just read your last response

odd because what I have already written is about exactly that

we will not let people take us for granted....we will be there to help but not at our own expense....if they disrespect us we have every right as human beings to tell them so and set boundaries. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to people like that. They are leeches.

Be kind to you

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor21 Sept 2017, 5:07 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

No doubt about it @Former-Member I get grumpy and moody and am possible even emotionally explosive. Carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And its very much based around social aspects of my life. Or prospectives or attitudes im using. (Im thinking about creating a thread with enjoying time with others ) ive noticed that conversations get directed in certain directions with certain people. Time and time again. And ive noticed that quite often. I quote what someone said to me on the phone. "Feelings of isolation and wanting social contact " and again i quote "today's world is much more isolated then years ago" and i quote again from a book "whoever isolates himself pursues his own selfish desire he rejects all practical wisdom "

And so i go through this pros and cons analysis of going through with catching up with someone. (Usually me catching up with others ) Friends, family, church community, one of my social group meetings or members, neighbours, a person from the professional community. Etc. And with each source of social contact. I need to assume this character and be this person who wears a mask to suite the social dynamics of the situation. Blend in, try be accepted, try and understood, listen to the message. Have a good conversation. Help. Be helped. Support, care encourage. Enjoy my time with people. And without a doubt there comes a dilemma fuelled, dramatized, envious, jealous, covetous, and bad side to everything. They think it's me. I think it's them.

There also a good side to it. Distract myself for half an hour 45 mins. Have a drink of water or coffee. Talk. Relax get out of house. Tend to my social needs. But one too many times i been thinking. This is stuffed. Im getting socially screwed over here. And there not much i can do about it. Often in the afternoon times. You know. Bored and lonely.

So ive decided to spread my social network out over a large area. With varied different people. And open up as many options as possible. Ie. Meet new people. Do more activity based stuff with different and new people. And just hope that it broadens my horizons and opens up opportunity. It's slowly happening.

And sleep. I'm going to be getting as much sleep as possible from now on. So it helps.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2017, 5:50 pm AEST

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

yes agree re other people....just because there in a certain role, occupation does not necessarily mean that they are a nice person

if you are feeling used then go with your intuition....I have read this comment in your posts before....if these people whom you think might be using you can't communicate properly with you then it does sound as though they are the selfish ones

filter through and perhaps hang on to the one whom you feel most comfortable with for the time being

expanding your options is a great idea a good way of meeting different people

this is a worldwide dilemma that you talk about.....you will be a good friend for someone out there who can treat you with respect

yes perhaps this thread has served it's time for you.....

starting one in enjoying time with others ...a good idea....also join in others that appeal too

all the best in your quest.....I think that you will find some happiness if you can keep on believing in yourself and being kind to yourself...I have learnt this very difficult lesson myself

take care

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