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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 8:46 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

How is @Former-Member going???

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Hope4meSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hi @eudemonism

I don't recall meeting you in the past, so hello from me

Not understanding if 'associate' is code for Hubby, Beau, Father etc... either way, is he really that important in the scheme of things? Why want feedback from someone you don't like or respect? Sorry if that's too personal from a stranger. Let me know if I'm out of order ok.

Thankyou to @Shaz51 for tagging me too. You're a legend!

Shout-outs to @TAB @Bunniekins @utopia @frog @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope and a special smile for @Former-Member. (Will meet you on your thread later on) Can't remember others, otherwise I'd tag them too.

Hope

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Shaz51Senior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 8:58 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Ohhhh @Hope4me

have you any tips for @eudemonism who is trying to give up smoking xxxxx

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

utopiaSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 9:05 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

That's the problem @eudemonism. I'm really not interested in exercise.

So the only thing I can think of is to walk the dogs - which I should do anyway

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hope4meSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 9:30 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hi again @eudemonism

@Shaz51 suggested I give you some tips for tossing cigarettes. I haven't smoked in two months. Yayyyyy me!

Best tip ever? Give all your money away to someone who won't give it back in a hurry and will buy groceries etc when you need things. (This is exaggerated but you know what I mean) No money, no way to buy them. Not having money strongly prompted me to give up. Not having that temptation made things so much easier. My mind just 'had' to accept abstinence. Cravings have never been this slight; go figure. Tried ten times before and always cracked due to horrible cravings.

Don't eat or have coffee in your fave chair or stand in smoking spot. Change routines so it's easier to create different pathways in your brain. Get the creative juices flowing, it's exciting creating new colour schemes etc for the house for instance.

Move more, don't forget to eat in the mornings to give your metabolism a kick start as it will plummet after the ciggies go. If you can, try to limit coffee to one in the morning or none at all. Coffee can be a big trigger.

Hope this helps

Hope

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 9:33 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@utopia walking the dogs is a great idea. I'm like you. I don't really like exercise either. However i do commit to walking along the beach with my dog.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 9:34 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Thanks for the connection @Shaz51

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

TABSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 9:49 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Ah sweet and savoury @eudemonism re tooth. Yeah I drive. I struggle when have too much time to think. Just one of those days. Think half food gone already here ugh

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Yea it is @Hope4me I'm on the same wave link. I'm just spending my smoke money elsewhere these days. I've got the Allen Carr book. I've got nico gum if i need I've rid myself of all smoking paraphernalia. I've got the right mind set. I don't wanna smoke. I'm not going to crave. I'm not going to go searching fora hit.

The thing is. I get tripped up bye my associate / friend / fellow patient. He don't consider or respect what I'm trying to do. There is this codependent relationship between us, which I'm cool with, the thing I'm not cool with, is his influence upon my life and lack of duty of care toward me. He drinks alcohol like a fish and the smokes go hand in hand with drinking alcohol, and he comes around with this bright idea to drink alcohol, at any given chance, (5 times a week if i let him ) and it goes against what I'm trying to achieve hieve for myself. In the process of him choosing to drink, the regard for the healthy and positive stuff we could be doing, gets put to the side; stuff like walking, fishing, exercise/gym, expression-arts-music-writing, cooking and healthy eating, cleaning, housework, yardwork, hygiene, making new friends, living new experiences, finding employment. Other bloke stuff. To much focus around boozing on and getting wasted and wasting time. And I'm getting caught up in it... does that explain a decent picture? Then there is his influence to gamble, spending money Willy nilly like it grows on trees. *like he's always got his mother to borrow from. This 'we're in this together mentality' and if i end the relationship it will leave a void in my life that needs filling. And I'm thinking the previous or next person won't be any better or worse...

As for me. I'm all about getting ahead. The good life. Being on the ball. Being prepared. Being ready. Making the most of each day. And yes... the quality of one's existence can come down to the company we keep. I'm always trying to keep on top of him. But literally it's an uphill battle. Quite often I'm dealing with regrets that i believe were influenced bye this person. (And drinking ) And i think he could be doing more to help and support me + himself in the process. But there just seems to be no desire to change anything. + I'm probably just as bad as him when it comes down to it...

Sincere concerns Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Sophia1Senior Contributor20 Sept 2018, 11:05 pm AEST

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello dear @eudemonism

I have been thinking of you even though I have not had time to write to you...

A very hectic..chaotic time here...

Moving of course which you know about...also "family member" detained again...although health deteriorated...some headway in communication...hopefully to continue...

nevertheless draining for all concerned..

I am so impressed by your continued abstinence from smoking...well done Eude... even temporary slips...you have achieved heaps.....not sure where you are at now ...be proud of what you have attained..

In regards to the subject of your associate who you say dismisses all of your huge efforts to attain reduction or abstinence from alcohol...smoking....from what you have written...he almost seems to be attempting to sabotage your efforts...

I am wondering..you of course know him and I do not...whether he is envious of your strength..

These people are associates only ...they are not your friends....

I have met people in hospital who have a similar attitude..;they only want to dwell in their so called world of illness..they do not want to help themselves...they believe that the world owes them...

You are smarter than that Eude...you have insight and are aware that you can help yourself the most with the guidance of trusted professionals....

One very important realism that I have learnt is that I will not lower my values for anyone...

I respect others and they must respect me the same....

I am better off without those who choose to bring me down or judge me.....I am best being true to myself...

I have only a few good friends...I do not necessarily see them often...the friendships are always there when I do....a few acquaintances ...that is enough for me...sincerity..

Most importantly I have learnt to be very comfortable within my own company...pursue my own interests....be sociable but not rely on others...

This move towards change in my life has helped in bringing me back into the real world...a shifting of part of my dissociation....derealisation...or whatever the terminology is...

I hope for you more belief in yourself....

lovely to read that you have been sharing connection with others....you have continued to help others with your posts...

big hug

keep on being you Eude...xx

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