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Coming to terms with reality

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

Cornwall is a beautiful part of England....it is a county on a southern peninsula..

I stayed at Exmouth and visited Buddleigh Salterton in the county of Devon next to Cornwall..

You would have heard of a cornish pasty perhaps...part of your heritage...Eude...

give yourself time...your motivation might return slowly

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

the coastline at Cornwall Uk also showing the island of Scilly

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Who knows? @Sophia1 I've pretty much got nothing to do with my time anyway...

All the professionals advice compiles to nothing really...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 @Bunniekins half my problem is... I'm mourning what my life could of been... I'm wondering why I'm suffering and I'm wondering why I'm not doing well... And all the mistakes and things that have gone wrong which I figure contributed to my situation are plain for me too see......

All that could be done to help me... Was done... And it was all based around living upto societies expectations... And having a good, decent and quality life...

But what my life ended up being... Is a real dissapointment... When I compare myself and my life... To others...... So I'm constantly or regularly feeling bereaved about what my life could of been... Or could be... Based on the expectations of society and also the expectations of myself... And from the standpoint of what I'd like my life too be like... And from my prospective of trying to manage my problems and my suffering...

And the system based community of professionals have diagnosed, medicated and managed... And made livings out of the whole process... And my life has wound up being no different then before the mental health system intervened... If anything I'm worse off and I'm more sick...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 I've done a lot of irrational, irresponsible and irreversible things in my life. All of it has haunted me for a very long time. I can't take any of it back. It is what my MI has all been about.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 if it could go wrong it did go wrong. And I'm the only one who is responsible for my actions. I spent a lot of time blaming and making excuses. It played havoc with my mind. It caused me huge problems. Always running and hiding and trying and wishing it would all go away.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

All of these incidents that you refer to happened many years ago..you have served your penance in all of your self blame...as you say affecting your mind..your sentence is over...no more punishing if you truly want to lead a better life..

keep on talking on here....

I do not want to overpower you with my thoughts

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

good morning @eudemonism

I hope that you had some restful sleep last night....

I struggled to get to sleep again....too late on the forums...so am going to make a huge effort to stop after a certain time...

The weather is cooler being autumn....everywhere in the garden so lovely and green now....green is one of my favourite colours...my affiliation with nature possibly...red is my other favourite colour...

When I stayed at my sister's I had so much time on my hands...no internet...

The thought of writing verbs jumped into my mind....as in doing ...being active words...

I made a list of two large sheets of paper....

I am trying to start writing and just don't know how to start...

That is as far as I got..

Can you remember how you first started?

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

we often seem to do this don't we when we correspond to each other...think of something else after..

getting back to the active words...

Whilst I was thinking of them I felt lighter in mood and reassured that no matter how old I am...or how long I have been unwell...there is always a chance for me to enjoy my life more...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 yea. I think I'm just reflecting on what I've been through. And am finally able to talk about it. And look at the whole ordeal in a rational way.

I have quite a bit of animosity toward the system and toward professionals. As they are controlling me. And as they are supposed to be there to help. And there is definite differences between how they see things and how I see things.

It's been dark, dreary and gloomy here. For about five days now. Some sunshine is apparently on the way. I have an inspection coming up in a few days time. So will need some motivation to do some cleaning.

The system and the professionals. See me as one thing. Mentally ill. Needing medication. And needing help. It's how the system works. It frustrates me big time.
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