Talking about not talking

Hi @Former-Member. I hope you can clear some of that head fog and not let the depression take hold.

Yeah, the way I react or (not) handle things is annoying to me. I have never had a reason for blowing the stress out of proportion or failing to cope with it. It's not excuseable and it doesn't have a reason. Even if I were to accept a suggestion of anxiety as an influence - that's just "blowing the stress out of proportion" and is an overreaction, not a reason. There's nothing else to put it down to. There is no real problem; I am the problem. And that has one guaranteed solution no matter what anyone else wants to pretend. In this case, and only this case, it could be weakness. When weakness is the problem, how can it be anything else?

Hello @TheVorticon

if it was a sign of weakness you would not be talking about it

you would not be asking the question

you would be avoiding..you are seeking answers

anxiety is different to stress

people have therapy for years to find the answer

whatever the reason it is real..

have you tried not fighting it? Just a thought..or you could try changing the question

hope that helps even a little

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@TheVorticon wrote:
I'm not really seeking answers, just a removal of the problem. I don't care why it is, I just wish it weren't.

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replace it with something else?

Well given that my brain hasn't cooperated with that for 10 years...

Hi @TheVorticon,

From my perspective, everything has a reason. I don't mean that in the soppy "everything happens for a reason" kind-of a way (gee that phrase annoys me!!!) but I mean that objectively there is a cause for every effect. Just because we don't know what causes something doesn't mean there ISN'T a cause.

I don't feel I can talk about what may cause you to struggle to cope with things because I am not you, but I know that I personally have a very low stress tolerance. Why is this? It's because of the way my brain is wired. That's all. It doesn't make me more stupid or of less value than someone who can handle lots of stress, it just makes me different. Unfortunately for me, I happen to live in a society where being able to cope with stress is a valued characteristic and thus others tend to be critical of me. However, this doesn't make me bad or defective, it just means that I'm a bit of a mis-match for most of society.

I don't know if that is useful at all, feel free to toss it in the bin.

Hi @TheVorticon

im a lot the same. Im intense and overanalyse and don't cope with stress or change. I think @Phoenix_Rising is right. Some people brains are wired this way and fighting it doesn't help. It absolutely sucks that society values dealing with stress above many other worthy characteristics. I am very slowly coming around to accepting this and trying where I can to change the parts I can. I still tantrum about it on lots of days and work up self hate storms over this stuff but very slowly I think I'm starting to understand and accept my limitations and myself better than before. I have a long way to go to find a place where I truly accept my limitations and have developed new skills to combat some of them but I'm working on it. Go gently on you @TheVorticon, we didn't get a choice in how our brains function or our inherited personality traits.

I'll have a read of that sometime later, thanks @Phoenix_Rising.

I'm not really in a listening-and-absorbing-other-points-of-view mood at the moment. I'm in more of an everything-is-frustrating-and-deciding-if-I-want-to-deal-with-it-unhealthily mood. So I can't really take that in at the moment.

@TheVorticon That's totally ok. I'll just sit here quietly with you in your everything-is-frustrating-and-deciding-if-I-want-to-deal-with-it-unhealthily mood.