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Infidelity and bipolar

KreagorSenior Contributor13 July 2017, 12:45 pm AEST

Infidelity and bipolar

Ah, 10 years ago my husband had a brief 'affair'... I stayed, we worked things out - it took time and help but we got there. Early this year he did it again, I didn't know. Then at Easter he tried to commit suicide and I didn't know. It all came to a head while I was away in June - was asked to come home from my trip as he was unwell. It was only when I got back that it all came out. Into hospital he went with severe depression (the worst I've ever seen him).
He was diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder - oh of course I can see it now... The ups and downs, the rollercoaster as I used to call it.
What I would like to know is... Once he is successfully medicated - what are the chances of him being manic again and sleep with someone (or that matter so depressed that he tries to end his life)?

Asking for self preservation really, I don't think I could take that kind of betrayal again, not for a third time.. I'd rather go now so I don't leave myself open to more pain, I'm too old and tired.

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In response to: Infidelity and bipolar

KreagorSenior Contributor31 Jan 2018, 10:21 am AEDT

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for that, we have had a quiet holiday period (though it's been busy for me at work). Mr Kreagor is going back to school - uni - which I hope will be a good thing. We will see how that goes? He definitely has the academic ability - just how he handles the pressure of things will be the telling thing. I guess I worry that he will be in an enviornment - full of young women - I feel a bit insecure about it, but then I can't expect him to lead the cloistered life that he has been for ever- he needs to get out in to the world again. I guess it comes down to trust - I don't trust him... but I take comfort in his medication - he is very compliant with his medications and eager to show me that he is commited to the process. Time will tell.

How are things at your end? Well I hope?

In response to: Infidelity and bipolar

Unknown userMember31 Jan 2018, 11:05 am AEDT

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

@Kreagor

When one has been hurt, trust is not an easy thing to be earned back, choosing to love someone in spite of this is courageous and that involves vulnerability which is not comfortable. I do hope for you that relapse prevention strategies and early intervention if required will prevent any future misdemeanors.

Unfortunately Mr D has many factors for poorer outcomes but he presses on and is doing things around home (often very poorly), I just show appreciation for what he can do . Not sure if he could manage study - he would have loved to have done a masters but at present perhaps beyond his capability. Like Mr K he is compliant with meds and one has certainly helped eliminate suicidal thoughts for which I am extremely grateful.

I have been fortunate to be able to reduce my working hours dropping a day a week to help me in my caring role and to self care. We press on ...

In response to: Infidelity and bipolar

Unknown userMember04 Mar 2018, 4:41 pm AEDT

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Hi @Kreagor
Checking in to see how you are going.

In response to: Infidelity and bipolar

Unknown userMember28 Mar 2018, 8:56 am AEDT

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

How are things @Kreagor?

In response to: Infidelity and bipolar

DarkContributor18 Aug 2018, 4:22 pm AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Other side of the coin here. I cheated. I’ve been married 17 years. Through marriage counseling, I began individual counseling. Through individual counseling, I was diagnosed as bibpolar at 41 years of age. That doesn’t excuse what I did. I hate myself for it. I am separated right now and alone. I have three children, aged 13 to 4. My actions have led to pain for all of them. It’s 0130 am here. It’s the nights. It’s the nights that are going to end me.

In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Unknown userMember18 Aug 2018, 6:15 pm AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Hey @Dark

Even in your darkness there is hope Bro. You have. 3 children who need their father, you have sought help and I encourage you to stick to treatment.

I am assuming given the time difference you are overseas (4.30 pm in Oz when you posted) are you in America? Fresh Hope is a support group that could be of help to you and I urge you to look them up.

https://freshhope.us/find-a-group/

In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar

KreagorSenior Contributor18 Aug 2018, 6:57 pm AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

@Dark

It's a difficult thing to get through, I think that being able to understand why my Mr Kreagor behaved as he did helped me to get passed what happened... It's been a year now since his diagnosis, he's stayed on his meds and we live a very quiet life.

Good luck to you, keep talking don't give up.

In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Unknown userMember19 Aug 2018, 8:54 am AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

I've been wondering how you are getting on @Kreagor. I was far more emotional than I thought I would be at the 1 year mark, emotional wounds can be oh so deep.

In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar

DarkContributor20 Aug 2018, 10:35 am AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Hope all are doing well. Just wanted to drop and quick thank you to the community. Friday night was...rough. You lot got me through. Much appreciated.

In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar

KreagorSenior Contributor20 Aug 2018, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Infidelity and bipolar

Hi @Former-Member I've been very busy - so much going on at work, but then it's good to keep busy. Still contemplating the notion of trust - still don't have any, not sure I will ever again. It's like hope - a construct, all we really have is passed evidence to go on in order to make decisions about the future. So I've drawn a line under the point of diagnosis and started a new page for Mr K - it's up to him how he fills this new page.
How have you been?
On a side note, I'm five years since my CA diagnosis so if all clear on my up coming tests apparently I'm cured... As long as I stay on my meds too.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.