Staying Safe

@Former-Member <br><br>Thanks for your time and telling your story.<br>We are only a bit over a year through this and a long way to go. He is in denial and sick of drs and meds.<br>Waiting for the outfall of his brothers passing.<br>My husband suffered over a 6 year period with similar illness before intervention, ect, made a difference to him.<br>I was over the stress of this before my son passed away and I have no resources to continue. <br>Monday last my sons ex tried to harm herself and we spent night in ed with her. So the ripple goes on and can’t be controlled.<br><br><br><br>

Checking in @WinterSun

Hi @Former-Member
Thanks for checking in. We are surviving. Would much rather be thriving but that doesn’t seem it will ever be my life.
My life is now in two pieces the grief counselling and the counselling to help with son with issues. Sadly the grief counselling is about my despair over son with issues and not the HUGE loss suffered with son who chose to go.
I am letting go with son with issues. Stepping back. Giving him room to sink or swim. Waiting for him to implode. As last year was so difficult dealing with him and trying to get help I have no resources left to manage him or my despair over my other son who slipped under my watch.
Ironically my husband noted that son is the only one currently working. He is doing job trial in his trained field. We are both on leave to deal with the fall out of lost son.
Son is sick of drs and everything to do with illness. Psych dr is useless and refusing to see son on Sat and with work appt is impossible. This dr has been rude, useless and no real help. Looking forward to lodging complaint about him. Community Health trying to arrange psych review or when he implodes will review then I guess.
Interestingly son organised tribute show for brother, they were in band together, while also working full time. He organised everyone and merchandise. Also said he had to visit police station on previous evening. When I queried why said he had witnessed a fight and went and gave a statement. How on earth does he manage this when he’s been so chaotic before?
We attended counsellor who has worked with members of the family together last week. Felt quite defeated after the appointment. My husband and I will go together to learn way to manage the dysfunction. Son has also made appt so hope he follows through with this.
Hope you can make sense of this but if not it’s a true narrative of my life at present.

@WinterSun ... Sending gentle thoughts your way.

Hi @WinterSun
How has your week been?
Darcy

Hi @WinterSun
Checking in
Darcy

@Former-Member

Hi thanks for reaching out. Life is moving on. We are dealing with the things that a death brings. We have returned to work. We are doing grief counselling other son seeing family counsellor. At least he is participating. Currently he is working two jobs and if nothing else the breathing space has helped.
Former gf tried a second time to end things and I contacted community health who called and visited. After insisting she needed more support psych dr appt moved a week ahead but still had to wait two weeks. Has begun grief counselling.
The outfall of our sons choice, or him feeling he had no choice, has been a terrible ripple effect that has shattered family, friends and aquaintances. The first few weeks were drama after drama.
Things have settled for now as much as they can in such a tragedy.
If only those who choose this could realise that their pain is passed onto to those who loved and cared for them and we now can’t help or change it.
Permanent decision on temporary feelings.