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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Memberi read your post before you edited and wanted to say i agree with you in reference to gps and teaching as well.

yuk, i dont like having those removed but i remember you saying your abit prone to them so your management is early removal think you said 6 or 12 monthly checks. yep i know that feeling well kepe reaching out here and offline for supports too big hus

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

i think your loveley too @Former-Member and i enjoy reading your posts too. i still think of your avatar as you as i meantioned before in the gratitude thread

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Just a quick pop in before sleep @Former-Member @Former-Member hoping your going ok 💕💕

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member wanted to send aome big hugs your way re other thread. I hope theres another course of action that you guys can do 💜💕❤

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member

Sorry I have not got back to you sooner I have been busy with uni and volunteering. How are you & Hubby? I didn't end up studying exercise physiology, I am doing nursing. I am enjoying it. I have a new puppy too- Milo- he is 14 weeks old. Here is a photo of the wee little fella.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hello @oceangirl

So good to hear from you - I genuinely mean that as you are one of those rare few, kind hearted, selfless genuine individuals I make time for. And I appreciate you as you do me.

You will make the best nurse for all the above reasons - good to read that you are enjoying it. I am so happy for you. Your future is sure looking good.

Ahhh, Milo is gorgeous - cuteness overload 😍 He will make a great companion.

My hubby is going okay, still has his health problems but we manage a day at a time. He isn't going ahead with the neck surgery for now - the risks outweighed the benefits.

I am turning a corner and moving forward in my life in a very positive way. I am happy with it and the friends and love I have in my life. I am making progress in personal goals which fulfills me and is making changes in a big way. That incorporates helping others still but not on here anymore. Not directly anyway. I am very satisfied in that area of my life as it's full of meaning but sometimes I feel alone in it and lonely. Not many seem to care unless it directly effects them. But I don't feel alone socially - I have fun with friends.

You will shine your light as a nurse. I would love to have someone as kind as you looking after me in my vulnerable times.

We are looking forward to moving - you were right, our dream home did eventuate and we should be in it by the end of the year. I have already met some of the neighbours in the community - they are very friendly and I have already been invited to dinners, golf, trips and group walks along the ocean. I love my life and am looking forward to the future. So yes, it's all been worth the battle. Here anytime for you. Please keep in touch. Sending lots of love ❤️

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi again @Former-Member

Thank you so much for your message and kind words. So happy for you and can't to hear that you have moved into your new home. You sound really good and its great that you're feeling so content and happy. Are you still volunteering?

It sounds as though you will be very busy when you move into your new home, I am glad you have made connections in your new community, how wonderful for you & hubby. I am sorry to hear he is still unwell.I am glad he is not having the surgery esp with the risks involved to him. You such a beautiful and caring soul.

I have really put my head down and committed myself to my study and I have made a fews friends at uni and we have formed a study group- which is really good for all us, to have the support of each other. I start week 7 on Monday, the semester has gone so fast. Next week I have exam on Wednesday and report due the following Monday.

At the moment I have my mum staying with me, she has been up here for almost two weeks and we have had a lovely time. She will be going back home on Monday but she will be back the following week for a few days. Tomorrow hoping to get down to the beach and to go for a swim and walk, it will be good for both of us

So pleased your dream is coming to fruition. I am always here for you.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

I know you will always be there @oceangirl; as previously mentioned - "you are one of the rare genuine few" whomgive of themselves selflessly, never causing hurt to others. Good things will come to you as a result in real life. That's the way it happens.

And I am always here for you.

Yes, I am still volunteering - in a greater capacity undertaking more responsibilities. I am on the board now. It's so rewarding and I have made many genuine real life friendships as a result too. And many changes that benefit the disadvantaged. I will do this until I drop and meet my maker conscience free with no fear, no regrets - that's my purpose I am discovering - it's a wonderful journey of self discovery and the reason for it all for me. It fills that empty space 😊

Thats wonderful how you also have made good friends and found what you love to do - it is all coming together. It does for beautiful rare souls like you 💜 Although there are rough times, our dreams come true.

It must be lovely having your mum with you enjoying walks on the ocean (one of my favourite pastimes). Think of me as you look out to sea as I will be there in spirit.

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

hi lovely @Former-Member just popping in to see how your travelling? havent spoken in a while

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member

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