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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Same @outlander
You’re such a sweet person. 💜
Nighty night. 😴💤

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

thanks @Former-Member so are you

goodnight lovley

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

I can smell the scent through the screen - heavenly @outlander 💞🌼xx

Lol @Former-Member - you crack me up. How have you been going? Look forward to catching up when you feel better 💞🌼🌷

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

😘💙❤💜 😘

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member 💜👋🌷
I’ve not been good at all. Thanks for asking.
I didn’t want to come on here and whinge, that's why I haven't been on much lately.
Fighting something off, aching and extreme fatigue.
Had my stitches taken out today
Went to travel agency for a chat about a brief trip.
That’s a step forward.
Felt really pressured by lady though. Wanted me to pay straight away. I need to think about things.
Had a cry when I got home.
Try to move forward, but pressure gets too much.
Plus had big upset about something at doctor’s.
Not a pleasant experience.

Daughter up and down, but that's understandable. Would be so difficult for her to not think about "you know what". It is very serious.

How have you been and how’s your daughter? Has she kept away from that guy? Is hubby ok?

🌺🌷

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member hope the sutures werent for something too serious and now your healing better. sounds like an upsetting day, hopin you can settle soon

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Thanks @outlander 😘❤️
I have had quite a few skin cancers cut out.

Just so run down and aching every day. You know what it’s like.
It gets too much.

Are you ok?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member

So good to hear from you. Please never feel you whinge - that is what the forum is for and releasing pain and stress helps to soften the load you are carrying. A good thing. We are here for you - I am just sorry I can't always answer straight away.

I can imagine the pain you have been in as having cancers cut out is no fun. Hopefully now you are on top of that and that they all heal very quickly (don't forget the green tea my friend 🍃). Sorry @Former-Member - I am a mother goose sometimes lol. I care about you all.

Wow - a cruise. That is a step forward. A three day one is a nice short break to get you back use to it. The relaxation and enjoyment should help boost your health and mood too. I am looking forward to hearing more about it. Glad you did not allow the sales pressure - it is good to think things through first before committing. Let us know what you decide - it's quite exciting 😃

I hope the upset you received at the doctors has been resolved somewhat. I worry about you. Getting away may be just the thing to help you to forget about everything for awhile and enjoy yourself for a bit. You deserve it.

It is understandable what your daughter is going through - it does take a bit of adjusting psychologically. And she will in time - she is a real fighter.

My husband's health has improved but he still feels ill on certain days - but not too bad. My daughter's partner has gone away for awhile, so hopefully she will move more and more away from him. In herself she has been better. She seems to be getting stronger in herself. She just needs to not get herself in so much debt as we can't keep bailing her out financially and to stay away from creeps and she would be happy.

All in all things haven't been too bad - though my best friends husband is dying and that has been hard. The main thing is that I am there for them in their darkest hour - I sure am going to miss him when he passes as he was like family to me 😓.

Please let us know how you go with the cruise 🚢 😘🌼💞

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hello my lovely @outlander. You are such a caring person, always seeking after the welfare of others. I always enjoy a post from you 💞

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Very sad re your friend @Former-Member
I lost a good close friend last year.
I don’t have a close friend anymore.
She was planning to leave work to travel.
Seemingly healthy, next minute, brain tumour and only lived a few more months.
Heartbreaking. Lovely giving person.
Ready to live life travelling.
I miss her.

I really want to sleep, but daughter still out. Forgot key and I have never been able to go to sleep until she’s home.

Glad that things are seemingly ok with you.

❤️🌷
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