-Enigma-

Hello lovely @outlander

I am going reasonably well. My daughter still throws out challenges at times lol, but she has improved slightly. She even cleaned her room two days in a row 👍😃 My husband has his health issues and ongoing pain issues but has an upbeat attitude, so that helps ease my concern for him. So all in all life is pretty good. The stress of moving is daunting though. I am off on a day out with friends tomorrow - then back to my community work for awhile which I find fulfilling. Trying to fit in exercise for good health each day - sometimes I succeed 😉

How are you going?

Just spotted your second post @outlander - they are still triangles, so waiting, waiting......lol

thats good to hear @Former-Member has your daughter moved back in with you? sorry im abit behind atm...

well look at that 2 days in a row! that is great! im glad hubs is still upbeat it helps us doesnt it, eases just abit of that worry.

im not a fan of moving either, good luck with it though and try not to stress too much about it.

your day out with friends sounds loveley- any specific plans with them?

i remember you saying you were going to start some community work- what sorts of things do you do (if you dont mind me asking of course?)

are you still doing your arts?

um im not doing so well, mentally or physically atm. trying my best to keep alive and the will to live as well as manage the daily life challanges with a rather bad hand injury, mental health etc. pops been abit unwell too but i think it might be a little bit because of his sleep apnoea which he wont let me help him with, and also my nans birthday and date of passing is coming up as well. so just keeping a closer eye on him atm too.

We are going out for lunch and then to play some bingo, but mostly we talk and laugh - a fun day out. Yes, my daughter has been back home with us for a couple of months now as where she was renting did not work out. We are still very close but we do get on better when we live apart.

I do work for the local community centre by helping out at our charity food shop and now I am on the board. I also assisted with NILs (no interest loans). I talk to people who come in struggling and have made quite a few bonds. I love it.

I do my arts in my leisure time and love this too ❤️

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate @outlander, especially for someone so young. I can relate to it somewhat - when we care and worry for someone we love it can be a heavy toll. It's wonderful what you are doing for your pop - but are you making time for you? Do you go out and enjoy yourself with people your own age? Joining different groups or undertaking career or hobbie courses, personal goals etc? So important to do the latter otherwise we can get in a rut and become unhappy. Sending warm hugs xx

that sounds good @Former-Member ive played bingo before but havent bene back. it can be challanging sometimes cant it. i rmeeber doing one where it was different patterns- i think they called it the triangle or something.

ah yes, too close is sometimes worse isnt it. at least when apart your getting time to yourself and away as well.

oh wow that sounds pretty cool! good on you, it sounds like your enjoying it. i love helping people too, its good to see people smile when they are struggling so much. one little random act of kidness goes along way too.

i love arts too, are you working on anything in particular atm?

i feel very guilty atm because my pop is doing more than what i am atm. im basically one handed atm- broke my finger and the 2 joints, bruised bones and muscle and ligament damage its a struggle to even have a shower atm. . i feel super guilt over it and i worry that it what might be making him sick so never push him to do anything and i still try to do the things i can like bringing in the dry clothes and putting washing on, vaccuming and mopping and helping wth shopping etc but havent been doing the dishes or much else. i dont really have time to myself, between pop, siblings, appointments, abit of work here and there i dont have much time at all. i do try and fit in smaller things like small drawings, watching a movie, doing abit of exercise, and chilling when i can. im rather embarrassed to say i dont have friends my own age, i dont have friends at all, only on here. ive tried to make friends and am currently in a 12 week social program but its nothing like it was advertised and they arent welcoming at all- was suppose to be for young people but they are all mostly 29+ some in their 40s which its not bothering so much about the age bt wouldve like to meet some my own age too or at least be welcomed in to the group so atm its a social experiement- gaining skills in learning to communicate wiht others on a 'normal' level sorry @Former-Member i shouldnt put that on you.

The photos were beautiful @outlander - thank you. I just read your last post and just wanted you to know that I am off to bed now but when I get home from my day out tomorrow I will reply in full. I think it's a really good step that you have tried socialising, even if not successful at first, I will talk more on this tomorrow. Please never be sorry dear @outlander as I am more than happy to talk and support you whenever you need me. Sweet dreams 😴💞x

thank you @Former-Member sleep well and i hope you enjoy your day tomorrow too

Hi @outlander

Dont be embarrassed about not having friends at this stage of your life. It doesn't seem you have ever had a chance to nurture friendships in your whole young life as the responsibilities you bear and the dysfunctional in your early life didnt really give you an opportunity to form such from what I have read.

I think it's time for you to enjoy life for a bit now when you can. That lack of connection you feel with peers would be triggering a lot of your depression - feeling lonely in it. Did you know there are meet up social groups for young people that suffer from "social anxiety"? So if you are feeling insecure or nervous about socialising - it may help to know all in that group feel nervous and inadequate too and the primary objective is for helping each other connect. You can google these type of groups in your state.

You would be amazed at how much better you would feel by stepping out of your comfort zone, a baby step at a time, and try different groups to make friends (or interests groups to meet like minded people around your age). I have had friends 10 years older and fifteen years younger - as long as maturity is there age really is a number and we connect with the inner person regardless of age. It's good to keep our minds open to trying safe, healthy activities and options for growth. If you don't feel comfortable after awhile you can leave and don't have to go back. And you have the satisfaction of giving it a go! Nothing to lose my friend.

No need to feel guilty re not being able to do the things you once did because of an injury - sounds like you still do an awful lot to help and you are doing your best. No one can do more than that.

I had a good day out today and have been busy stitching, cleaning and doing things since I returned. Tomorrow I am off to my volunteer work. Hope your day was a good one @outlander and whoever is reading along ❤️

@Former-Memberyou are so lovely, thank you

no ive never really been able to have those skills to make friends well, or learn what a 'normal' friendship was like. i was bullied alot mostly by those i called friends to start with. i dont mind having friends of different ages so much but would be nice to meet people my own age too though and connect with others in their 20s too. im not sure its social anxiety so much, its more i dont really know how to act or react around others. its finding that balance their of what is reasonable for myself and others as in am i too clingy or am i pushing them away. when i do talk to people that i can connect with abit more like through arts and crafts or a topic of interest- horses, nursing, stuyding i am ok and can talk well without being on edge about balance it feels more normal. the group im in now have been unwelcoming from the start like asking me something then before i even have a chance to say a word the topics changed or because im walking into an already established group- some being familiy members its harder to fit in too. ive been keeping an eye out for other oportunities but none have popped up as yet. ive been stepping out of my comfort zone quite alot lately- some with ok changes some with bad but i still try to learn something from each thing i do.

did you find it hard to enjoy life? like i become very suicidal and jsut loose the will to live at all but a chance to have a life and live not just survive would be great but i find i dont enjoy alot of things but also sometimes i ge scared of living- sounds stupi i know- did you ever get like that?

my injury can be fixed just a slower recovery is all and yep im still doing alot and with school holidays on for us now too imdoing more than usual but one handed. thank you heaps for your advice as well.

im glad you had a good day out too, any update pics on your stitching? i like seeing your arts too. oh did you enter that competition by any chance? the ones you asked us to pick our favourite?

volunterring is good, and i know its something you enjoy too. i volunteer every second weekend to teach some kids how to ride at the local club.

thank you @Former-Member it means more than you know

Always welcome @outlander

I think you hit the nail on the head to where you are most likely to gain success socialising - those with similar interests in horses, nursing, art, studying - there are many art and craft/writing meet up groups; and courses to check out there my friend. There are many different avenues. Sounds like the group the group you are in presently is cliquey - that is always more difficult. See if you can find a group or a course where most people are meeting for the first time or taking in many new comers. That would be much easier. Even if you try 20 - one is bound to be good. Don't give up.

Yes, I have had many patches in my life where I have found it hard to enjoy life. I witnessed my daughter's near fatal attempt. She was in despair due to an an abusive relationship; she looks back now sees what a big mistake it would of been. She was lucky there was no brain damage or permanent injuries.

I know what it is to lose zest for life. But it can come back. And It can get better. As we go forward in life we mellow some and appreciate things more. The course of our natural life is short anyway, it goes fast. Best make the most of it opposed to the other option that offers nothing

I really do believe once you find your niche and purpose in the world (which takes time, a path of self discovery with lows and highs), and start having fun with people your age - discovering what it is like to connect with a special few, your zest will return. Your self esteem and worth will increase. It did for me. And the world will seem less bleak and scary. In time my friend.....I definitely connect better in real life than online as people get to know the real me and deep connections form.

How's your health? Do you laugh often? ( it's the best medicine). Being healthy makes "a big difference to our moods". When I am not I get tired and my zest can go to zip - so looking after our health needs (exercise, healthy eating, proper rountine sleep, relaxation and interests etc) all helps get the mind and body in order. A few things to work on and you will start to feel a bit better. Keeping the vision positive hanging onto hope. There is always some good in life to savour

With your interests you would have done well living in the country (if you don't already). I use to own a farm and had a friends horses on it (and minatures ones as well, they were cute), plus other livestock. And arts and crafts, gardening were the rage. A lot of nurses lived on properties ther . I loved my time living there. But now am enjoying a sea change.

I am off to my volunteer work tomorrow which I am looking forward too. Keep stepping out of your comfort zone my friend and try different things. Don't worry what others will think of you - just take it real slow getting to know people before you trust and the big one - "just be yourself" with people you meet. Those that matter will appreciate you as they get to know you - the others don't matter. People like it when we are ourselves and natural - that's all you have to be and friends will be made eventually. Sweet dreams @outlander 😴💞