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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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Thank you @Shaz51 😊 🙏

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@Former-Member me too -Enigma- 😄

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@Bunniekins Thank you my sweet pea 😊

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@Former-Member 😄 ... -Enigma- what is your avatar?

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That's an enigma @Bunniekins 😗

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Oh i forgot about the pics @Former-Member how pretty i wish i was there now
And thanks 💕🌼🌺🌷

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Glad you liked it @outlander

@Bunniekins - you have been sounding so good for awhile now. You sound like a new person - remarkable! 👍

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@Former-Member Hi -Enigma- 😄 Yes the medications took awhile but I believe they are working properly now ... but it is also my diet too ... eating healthier and drinking lots of water which is helping everything together is making a huge difference. I am also being more forgiving on myself and just getting on with life. Moving forward and not thinking about the past.... as Scarlett O'Hara said 'Tomorrow is another day' (or something like that anyway lolz)!.

How have you been? We havent spoken for so long? Are you okay with everything that is happening in your life?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

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Great news that your meds are working for you @Bunniekins! Your attitude towards life is wonderful - yes the past is gone and dusted and tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. So good to read that you are moving forward so well, doing the latter helps a lot towards that.

My life in the present is high anxiety - given my husband's up and coming neck surgery with its risks (he could end up in a wheel chair if he does not have it done). I feel positive about it but nothing ever runs smooth with my husband and operations. So I am trying to distract myself and not think about it. My best friends husband has terminal cancer and I need to be there for them.

When my husband is in hospital I am totally alone - I don't even have a psychologist so it's tough. I can't lean on my best friend as she has enough on her plate and for her to see me upset would make her worse (vicious cycle);, my daughter is better but has her own issues and not good when it comes to moral support (it's the other way around) and I have no family. So these times are the roughest in my life for me as my husband is my world - otherwise I do very well. I have to be my most toughest now and be extra positive. There is no other way. And everything passes.....

I do have a couple of people at my volunteer work who seem to care that I could call - but I don't want anyone to see me that way. It could always be worse.

I do appreciate you asking and thinking of me.

Are you still studying? How is are your children? x

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member Hi -Enigma- and good morning 🙂 you do have alot on your plate I am hoping that moving into your new house is a wonderful distraction for you. Sounds like your daught has rid herself of these dipsticks at long last may that continue. I really wish your husband.s surgery to go well. My mother recently went in for spinal surgery because her spine was so riddled with arthritiis she was told if she didnt go swe would end up in bed for the rest of her life. It has been a complete success, AFter the surgery she was a mess (she is 83 though) but now she has no pain at all. Wishing the same for your husband.

Well I have just started another subject not a biggie it is just in essay writing as I am waiting for physics to become available. But I do have some news last year when my son was back in hospital I just was too exhausted to do the exam and thought at the time 'Well that is that i have failed that one' and I never bothered to check the result until Sunday when I passed by the results on the screen and thought I might as well look at the big F and low and behold there was a P!!!!! I an thrilled as it was a hard course so obviously my other work in the course pulled me over the line! I am a very happy pea getting a p 🙂

My children are great my eldest is coming back for a visit in a couple of months which is fantastic. My other son is doing well and my daughter is fabulous. They are great kidults they all help their mum alot of which i really appreciate. My daughter in particular is what a would describe as a dutiful daughter. An old fashioned term but suits her down to the ground.

Hoping you have a great day today. Always wonderful to talk to you -Enigma-

the pea

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