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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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@Former-Member Hi -Enigma- hope you are having a wonderful Monday xx

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Hi @Bunniekins - lovely to see my sweet green pea here. Hope your day is shaping up to be a good one. 💕

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I spotted a quote I thought quite insightful and beautiful. This is how we will know who our true friends are. Off to the doctors now - wish us luck as we will need it!

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@Former-Member So beautiful and true. I like this one. What do you think?

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@Former-Member Thinking of you while you are facing these difficult appointments. Waiting with you on the outcome. I've picked up my new glasses and will need to adjust as the prescription is very different. Hoping it will make xstitch easier. Found a lolly shop and now munching on a few. The day has turned out beautiful here, sun streaming into my lounge room. The company of two dogs, so life is good atm. Leaving a tulip from my garden for when you return home.💟💟💟

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

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Hello @Former-Member how are you today xx

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Hi @Maggie - Thank you for being there for me. You really are one of a kind to me - I don't remember feeling so warm towards a person since I met some of my closest friends. I am probably being too over emotional, sorry Maggie. I am a bit soppy at times lol. Just ignore me. I do really appreciate your support a lot.

Our GP is not sure what the scan results meant - he thinks it may be an indication that my husband's existing prostate cancer is growing once again as he has had other ills that suggest this. We will have to wait for the specialist's opinion on the 1st and 2nd of Nov. I am glad it is not too far away because my husband is very, very sick and lethargic. Something is wrong. We will just have to be patient. It's hard.

You got new glasses! - should make a huge difference to cross stitching with more ease. I use a magnifier with mine too (especially when I use fine count e.g. 32ct and beading). Have you tried the latter. I just rang England where I had ordered multiple frames and a new stand 5 months ago - they said I should have it within 6 weeks! That put a smile on my dial 😀. Once I receive that I can start on my bigger projects like the mermaids (I am a glutton for punishment lol).

So good to read that today was a better day and life is good for you at the moment. Smiling down its warmth. That makes me feel good. When my Maggie is happy so am I. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

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Hi @Shaz51 - I am holding up pretty good - just concerned for my husband. How are you today?

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Hi again @Maggie - forgot to mention that I did like your pictured saying. It's so true. When I feel inner pain but try and hide it with a big smile in front of those that know and love me, the first thing they say is "okay, what's wrong enigma, I know something is wrong". They see right through me where others wouldn't notice. Your picture was spot on!

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member It's almost 5 am, and I'm prowling around in the dark, fur baby sleeping beside me. I was hoping you would get some information about your husbands cancer yesterday, but the waiting game continues, and waiting is so hard. He does sound unwell, but please remember to take care of yourself also. If you are to continue looking after hubby, you need strength and time out. I know you know all this, just a gentle reminder because looking after others is nature to many of us, but not so looking after ourselves.

Yes new glasses. I broke my last pair in the fall. We are strange aren't we. I picked myself up off the footpath with blood everywhere saying.....I'm alright!!!!!! Lol.

Do you get frames from England? Does it work out cheaper? I watched a utube and plan to try a new way of stretching and framing myself. They charge like a mad bull down here.

Im heading for my first coffee, always a treat. Warm thoughts coming your way. 💝💝💝💝💝💝

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