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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: Over The Edge

Wow that is a very serious amount of dedication @Former-Member! It's so worth it though - she really is beautiful 😊

I love crocheting and find myself getting similarly lost in what I create with my hook and yarn. It's a great source of soothing distraction and gives me something to focus and concentrate on (while also escaping). The tiny needle and thread you'd use would probably frustrate me a lot as I am kind of clumsy/uncoordinated (I need something big to work with!).

I have read a little about your plan to start a writing group. I find mysef quite busy on the forum already and probably can't commit to joining in too many new adventures just yet. However, I love reading and would love to read along and enjoy it that way! I think it's a great idea and look forward to seeing where it goes. Thank you for thinking of me with it though 💗

Lovely to see you tonight too 😊 I'm heading to bed very soon. Hope you sleep well tonight!

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

My friend also loves to crochet @CheerBear. She takes it everywhere she goes - even to bingo lol. And her work is beautiful. She just recently created some lovely coasters - she enjoys that soothing distraction too. I find the same with embroidery - but can get frustrated with some of those small needles and fine stitches too, have to at times use a magnifier. Especially when I do beading. But find it so rewarding.

Totally understand what you mean by being busy on here - it can take the benefits away if we over commit. I will look forward to your feedback though - am always thinking of you. Sweet dreams my sweet bear 😴x

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: Over The Edge

I really like your idea of a writing thread @Former-Member. Count me in.

I love that you are hanging your angel,in your bedroom to watch over you. That fills me with joy. How long did you take to create that masterpiece?

I have a tapestry that my mother made of a bunch of sunflowers on my bedroom wall. It is very uplifting to look at especially since she passed away in June.

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

So very sorry for your loss @soul Sunflowers are one of my favourite flowers - so cheerful. That would be lovely to wake up to each morning. It took me 6 months (approx 20 hrs a week) to complete my Angel. I am keen

That is one thing I love about cross stitch, I can leave a part of me to pass down the family line. My daughter loves mermaids - so my next project will be stitching a Miribilia "Mermaids of the Deep Blue". I bought some 32 ct opalescent hand dyed torquoise fabric which glitters in the light and Looks like a tropical ocean. Very soothing and eye catching. When I purchased the kit I realised there is one thousand beads included - that should keep me busy for awhile lol.

Thats fantastic that you will join us in our writing adventure. I cannot wait to see what we come up with! - it will be a lot of fun. I will have all the details up within a couple of weeks that explains how it works. I will tag you once it's up. I am so glad you are jumping on board - I love the way you write. ☺️xx

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: Over The Edge

I’m even more impressed @Former-Member now that I know about the effort that you have put into your angel. My mother was so creative. She tried her hand at all manner of arts and crafts and created beautiful things. Her talent skipped a generation with me but my daughter seems to have inherited her grandmother’s talent.

Your next project sounds amazing. Your daughter is very fortunate to have a clever Mum to make her something like that.

In response to: Re: Over The Edge

Re: -Enigma-

Thank you @soul ❤️💜❤️💜❤️ I just sighted your avatar thread. What a wonderful topic! I will post on it tomorrow. Good night my friend xx

@Faith-and-Hope - thinking of you hoping all is alright. Holding you close to my heart

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-MemberIt's probably a little early for that coffee for you, but I'll prepare one later in the morning. The day looks like it's going to be a good one and this morning I'm heading out with my counsellor to spotlight hoping to find some curtain material, then Bunnings to buy some shrubs for the area I cleared yesterday.

Your friends found a comforting place to land yesterday, good on you for being there for them. Your caring heart shines through.

The Irish greeting is dear to my heart as originally I'm from Ireland. Though Australia is my home, ireland will always have a place in my heart.

The mermaid x stitch sounds very interesting. If you want to share a pic, I'd love to see her.

My songs are often sad ones but I'll check the BOX for any inspiration that might be there somewhere.

Id better get ready for the outing. Enjoy your day. Warm wishes.

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Maggie - you know your insomniac friend well Coffee touched my lips at 10:30 this morning 💭😑 then 👀 - eyes wide open lol, Enigma comes alive. Always ready for a second cup my friend - heres tomsharing one to the celebrate the start of a good day ☕️. Let's hope we don't need a 🍷by the end of it haha.

Yours is sounding good! Lovely company and buying items to beautify your home. Enjoy! Do you make your own curtains? Clever lady. What colour, style are you looking for? Where do you plan to hang them? Your garden will be a sanctuary for yourself and others to enjoy when finished. I can't think of a better place to be, besides the ocean. Both meditative and soothing to the soul.

Ireland is a beautiful place and the people are so friendly, warm and accommodating. I share your fondness of heritage with the exception mine is a split camp. My grandparents were Irish on my mothers side and my fathers parents were German. So it like a bit of Irish dancing kicking my heels up with a good beer hee 💃🍀🍺. I love the history and tracking down relatives (all overseas).

I am excited about starting the mermaid - I have all the kit requirements/fabric etc waiting for me to start. I will commence this mermaid beauty once I finish Willy - hopefully in the next month or so, and will put up progress pics whilst creating it. The Mermaids of the deep blue by Miribilia is a stunning kit I have to admit. I will put all the hand dyed fabric, metallics, beads, threads etc together and take a pic next week to give you an idea of the colour feast it produces. Candy to the eyes.

A lot of songs resemble the blues and people love to sing along with it. It is a part of the human condition and can't be denied. Reminds me of one of my favourite songs "Blue By you". Look forward to seeing what comes out of the box

I am off now to tidy the house which I can no longer ignore. Will try and get a walk in between and at intervals jot a few things down for the short story. I hope to get stuck into that on the weekend - here's 🙏 nothing goes wrong to prevent me, but we are talking of my life now lol. A conundrum hehe. Sending lots of love and can't wait to hear about how your curtain making and shrub selection went ❤️xx

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member You are sounding in good spirits atm, I hope this lasts as long as it can. I have bought curtains for my lounge room. Atm it only has blinds and sheers with a virtical blind along the sliding doors. The carpet is a beige colour with white wall and my lounge is floral. The curtains I've bought are a charcoal. As it worked out ready made are cheaper so I've gone with that. I'm hoping it will become cosy as its looking a bit like a barn right now. I didn't manage to get the shrubs as we ran out of time, it took ages to decide on the curtain, but I'm thrilled with that.

My relatives are Irish from as far back as I can remember. I love their music. Both my parent had the best accents which I had to interpret when friends came. A beautiful country, and I agree, very friendly.

Im looking forward to meeting mermaid, she sounds beautiful.

Look what I found in my box. A song written for my online friends..

In the middle of the night

Once again my heart look fright

Pain that shook me to the core

I just can't take it anymore

In the middle of the night

My heart broke I cried and cried

I read of courage breaking through

I hope some day I can do that too

These are faces I'll never meet

These are names I'll never know

But their beauty it sure does show

Though the world might shut us out

And our tiny spark grow dim

Someone close gives a gentle blow

That tiny spark it sure does glow

And together we're a fire

Spreading warmth to one another

I see you reaching to the sky

I see your spirit flying high

Soaring gently like a bird

Your voice has finally been heard

You're a hero

There's no doubt in my mind

You're a hero.

Hope you enjoy that. Don't spend the whole day house cleaning if you can help it, the walk sounds good.

Better move and do something myself, visitor is on her way, so I need to prepare myself.

Warm thoughts.

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear you're in a bad place at the moment, I really am. I know what it's like to feel truly trampled on and taken advantage of without any reciprocity for your actions. However what I do know is that circumstances do often change for the better and most desperately negative periods of time are transient in that they do exist for a period but do not define the rest of your life.

Please look after yourself and know that you're never alone.

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