-Enigma-

Hi everyone ..... 💕

I have been following along here, but I am a little confused about what has happened .... I have been trying to get to a point in my day where I could sit and respond properly here. @Former-Member, I feel so upset for your husband's results that I really don't know what to say, other than to encourage you to keep persevering with the amazing strength you have shown through all of this year's ups and downs, and what incredibly high and low ups and downs they have been .... from your own injuries, to the tussle over your new home, to the difficulties with your daughter ..... and they all seemed to be npmakimg great headway until this very, very difficult week.

Unless posts have been removed, I am not understanding what has happened just now. You and @Maggie have been tracking along together for some time now, supporting and listening to each other. I have kept a listening ear, keen to know that you are managing, but juggling a lot day to day myself, and keeping company with @Zoe7 in a similar way to you and @Maggie over here. @Shaz51 @Zoe7@Appleblossom and I amongst others have been popping in and out, knowing how much you care about us all too.

Have I missed something ? I know you are strong and resilient @Former-Member ..... and I don't know why you are feeling that you want to step back now, unless you just need some more space and time and energy for other areas of your life.

😔💜💕

Hello dear @Faith-and-Hope

Your post was so very much appreciated. In fact one of the best from yourself that I have ever read. You gave it much thought and a lot of compassionate wisdom shined forth that made me think. So I just like to take the opportunity to tell you how highly I think of you for that effort and that your confusion at the latest turns of events in my thread is completely warranted. I will reply in full tomorrow when feeling less overwhelmed.

Thank you @Former-Member .... I really appreciate your reply.

I wasn't sure about my confusion because I have a lot of brain-fog going on today, and packing to go on a plane tomorrow, and helping baby dragons who can't help themselves at the moment to do the same registers pretty low on my wish-list right now ... but on we go .... but for now I'm not doing it .... I am resting on Chair Island until I have to get up to feed said dragons, at which point I will reconsider the packing.

I will be in transit for some time on and off tomorrow, so please bear with me .... I will be looking for your post regardless .... as I do .... and you will know I have it because I will leave a "like", even if I can't answer right away ....

💜

Thanks @Maggie

You are so sweet. Thank you. At least of I can be totally honest with all here which is such a breath of fresh air.

My daughter is moving out and moving forward which is good. My husband does appear to possiblly be riddled with cancer. I am left on my own to deal with it. With no one to talk to. As usual. So the mind blows ocassionally. As I left alone in a mind blowing reality that would bring anyone to their knees; and I am alone in it. Nothing new, even husband dearest is leaving to myself to endure the reality alone. With the ocassional "are you okay" Whoppie.

I have always been the devoted one him, have always attempted to nurture and lessen his pain and look after him. But extreme mental apparently doesn't warrant a consideration Maybe now I should venture out and find my own reprieve and find some friends to talk woth ocer a few drinks (only problem I couldn't drive home). My husband did just thatmbut over coffee while cried and cried. So perhaps things need to change. So meaning no offence to anyone but being brutally honest - I am having a f..k it day.

Putting that all aside I am still looking forward to the writing group. At least there we can all forget about all our woes for awhile by taking our minds to anther place for sweet reprieve and having a ball alon the way. Give me a few days and I will get stuck into again.

That thought must be so frightening @Former-Member .... re your husband and what may lie before you .... I know it would be scaring the :pile_of_poo: out of me, and I have my own husband woes, as you know ....

As much as you love her, I am soooo glad that daughter of yours is moving out ..... you can love her in principle without having to like her or the way she lives .... at least for now .... and it sounds like she has just given you permission to not visit or even give a damn for the time being .... or was that an outright directive ..... at least that is a bit of breathing space until the wind changes again wherever she is moving to ..... I would gladly park that one up for now if I were you ..... and let it simmer along on its own for a while.

If at all possible, I suggest you grab a friend and go out somewhere for a meal occasionally .... take so,e down time .... away from your husband's illness time .... a reprieve for some well needed brain space and just breathe ..... breathe ..... let your world npmanage itself for an hour or two .... and have a glass of something you enjoy ❣️

hugs and hugs OverTheEdge .... you are very much in my thoughts .....

Hi,

Just in the process of having this entire thread removed. It may take a few days to disappear. In the next few weeks I will attempt to start a short writing collaborative group under the thread "enjoying time with others". I will tag many to see whom may be interested in joining in. I have a few already which is great. Whether the writing group works or not doesn't really matter - it will still be a lot of fun. I will set it up with complete instructions, a heading, theme etc, so all anyone has to do in join in the fun when their allotted time arises (will explain that when I set up the group).

For now I will flitter around on the odd occasion to welcome new comers and help them in anyway I can but I won't be on here very much at all. So much to do in the real world where I feel needed. If I have worries I will post them in the worry board where I would appreciate no responses - but a like to know that you have heard or care would be nice 😊. Want you all to know I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the happiness you can find. Hugs OTE

@Former-Member If it's any help, which I know it won't be, I'm having a F@@ing day here myself. Is it contagious, I never meant to pass it on.lol.

Things sound rough with your husband and I'm sorry. Could you meet with your friend for a coffee or a walk something stronger. I'm full of it today so take no notice of me. I'll send a warm hug and look forward to the writing thread when you are up to it.

Hi @Former-Member

I get it - I had to cut my time back here too and stopped getting notifications - I read bits of people comments in my phone which is not connected to my computer so I can't send messages there either - but flitting between a few people most days seems to work better

So I will watch for you new thread - I realise we all need to take a step in a different direction - I totally understand

You have lots happening - I hope starting afresh helps

Dec

Thank you @Owlunar@Maggie@Faith-and-Hope

Sorry you are are having a hard time too @Maggie. I know how hard life can be with having a husband now facing terminal cancer and other issues I deal with. And this wasn't caught from you. You are not contagious - you are not alone in your suffering. You did nothing wrong at all so please don't think that, I will explain below.

@Maggie We had a special connection that really is irreplaceable as those type of connections are rare, I think you will look back and see that; but it would seem that I was just holding you back from your friends that needed you more there for them and visa versa - I don't want to interfere with that or upset anyone through my long posts (ramblings). And those posts of mine were also largely "ignored by others" which made me feel worse, but I understand most are caught up in their own struggles and niches. You were the exception and I thank you for that.

Whilst others are caught up in the latter a lot of new people post on here and are then largely ignored. Knowing what that is like to put my deepest pain out there and then just for it to hang, I have witnessed this frequently on here - so my priority here is to greet them and help them in that immediate moment or tragedy could strike. So many news posts can sit here unanswered and I know how devastating that can be to be ignored.

So here I seek to give support to those posts rather than existing groups already receiving it as the need is greater and I can't be everywhere, otherwise I become overwhelmed, not to mention the real life trauma I face. My real support will have to come from the real world, but I won't hold my breath there either. I am usually the one doing that and find myself alone to carry my own dark times. It's not easy, but that is life. And sometimes it's just too unfair.

We did have a lot of laughs, indepth talks, shared creative pursuits, and built each other up. A real friendship was developing that transcended depression and the darkness it brings. But I understand your need for wanting more support for your depression from others and they obviously need that from you and I didn't want to interfere with that and hold you back. It had nothing to do with stepping back to protect me that's not my nature, just the contrary - my main reason for being here is to try and help others, me second, even though I don't always succeed to help but I do my best.

My creative writing group will be more fun.

Looking forward to seeing you on the writing thread which I hope to have up and running in a few weeks if all goes well. I have a lot of surprises in store. We will all have a ball 😊🌹