Good to hear from you @oceangirl - how have you been doing?.
@Zoe7 💜🌹🤗xx
@Faith-and-Hope - hope all is going well with you too my friend. When you have some time i would appreciate it if you could advise me on how to upload songs here on this thread as Maggie has done. Thank you 😊
Hi @Maggie
I have been rather sick today. I had the bad migraine on Wednesday and today had stomach problems and felt really unwell. Rested most of it. My daughter is ill too. I saw the song you uploaded and will listen to it once I post here. Thank you my friend - I enjoy Shanina's songs.
I can understand what you mean by your struggles with joining groups and meeting new people. I can find it difficult to at times. What helps me is that any interest groups I attend or do volunteer work for - I find activities in them that keep me busy were I don't have to directly talk to people if I choose not to - e.g garden groups I go to listen to talks on plants or visits gardens. If I speak to others whilst doing this it's a bonus. But if I don't feel comfortable I can move away and distract myself with the activity. I am not bound to befriend. But it still gets me out doing different things. Does that make sense?
When I speak to others ocassionally by choice after going back quite a few times consistently, in time I get to know them and discern their character, if good I move a little closer and take it from there. I am a very independent person so it's not the end if it doesn't work out, and I like it that way. But I do enjoy talking to different people as it breaks up the isolation and distracts from my own thoughts/worries for a bit. If I feel uncomfortable for any reason I make excuses and move away.
It's not easy to make good friends, they are hard to find and it does require consistent nurturing. Sometimes (rarely) I instantly click with a few. I know they say one can go years without speaking to someone and then pick up where they left off. I don't really believe this, in my experience true friendship requires effort, nurturing, being there for each other and consistency in communication. What do you think?
I make the effort as it can ease the loneliness (although not lonely because I have my husband, a couple can feel isolated). We both become involved in things to avoid this and it helps me mentally and physically to feel needed and valued (the latter takes time to nurture). If we aren't comfortable we leave and move onto something else. It's becoming increasingly difficult though as my health declines (probably through stress). But I can be quite tenacious when it comes to striving for such goals even if I often feel like a square peg in a round hole socially. Meeting good people is worth the risk to me. I move away from the rest. I like talking to different people, it's interesting.
If my effort of friendship is reciprocated I give back more. If it goes unnurtured without effort I give back likewise. I won't be used, I would lose interest immediately. I would figure like you that I am better off alone. But getting close to people is difficult for me because of my past, but not impossible. If it's just one or two people I am close to I am happy. And people tend to show up in the rough times. I feel valued at my community work, but there can be difficulties. Life never runs smooth.
It sounds like you cope very well keeping to yourself though and it's inspiring to read. I really like how you keep motivated at home, something I have had difficulty with this year (never use to before). I think the stress has thrown me. And it helps me to read of your activities, helps me to try harder. I think my state of health is holding that back presently as well.
It's really others missing out on meeting you in the world - that's the way I see it as you make such a wonderful friend. It's others loss, and I never say anything I don't mean. Pity people of low integrity had to spoil that.
It is a difficult situation with your friend. I suppose if she doesn't cross your personal boundaries you may derive some pleasure from the friendship making the most of it. I suppose it's weighing it up - whether the good outweighs the bad making the effort worthwhile. Sounds like you both have some fun days. Let us know how it goes.
Do you have any plans for the weekend? I think I will continue to take it a bit easy for now. Will be thinking of you 🤗❤️xx
