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Oh dear @Former-Member thats hard going with your daughter, one thing after the other. I know you can't cut the ties, you will always be her mum and want the best for her. No one can fault you for that. Have you looked into getting a social worker to talk to? They just might come up with something you haven't thought of, and if all you get is support, it has to be better than going it alone.

So good to hear hubby is a little better, one good thing at least.

Gee the spring cleaning sounds like a big job and you sound exhausted. Having visitors is an extra strain also. Is your brother still with you?

My friend is depressed. It's hard as she hasn't suffered from this before, but the meds for arthritis seem to be causing it. She sees her specialist in two weeks so they might change things. Her sister is doing well, but needs to go into care for awhile till she improves more,mother go home.

I'm ducking in and out of my pit, but that's just how my life is on a normal basis. I did go for a walk this morning thanks to @ soul. She had walked and mowed the lawn before 9am, so off I went. It was lovely, cookaburras laughing, black birds singing, and flowers coming up everywhere. There was a breeze which was lovely. Then I did a bit of gardening but it got too cold, so I've been doing cross stitch for a while.

Still trying to get quotes for the fence, that's not going too well as they don't seem to communicate well. Eventually it will happen. Take care. I hope you enjoy bingo tomorrow and win. Hug to you

@Faith-and-Hope Hope things are going ok for you. Take care.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

How are the children taking it? Glad to read that you are all okay. Uprooting to a new area is stressful and does take some adjustment (have moved a lot), but from what you shared it could bring about some positive change. Main thing is you are all still together with S2 close by. When do you move?

Hi @Maggie

It was good to read that you went for a walk this morning - sounded really enjoyable and a great start to your day. You sound like you are in a really good place at the moment and I am so happy for you.

I thought your friend's depression was caused by the stress of her sisters health plight. Yes, medication side effects can do it which is probably easier to address. With adjustment she should start to feel better soon enough. Wow, first time she has experienced depression. I feel like I have been dodging that bullet all my life. With this experience she may understand what you go through more.

Its like winning the lottery finding a good psychologist or counsellor where I live. And I live in a very popular, populated area. Not sure why. I don't like to travel far because of my stress levels. I will try and seek a social worker or similar nearby as the stress I am under has been going all too long and my exhaustion is a symptom. I don't want another breakdown. I haven't had much of a break in 10 years. Quite cruel really. And very lonely. I survive by implementing all the coping stategies I state here, my faith, my pure will, my husband and pushing myself. But this latest news has knocked me for six. I don't how much more a human being can endure. I will find out.

I thank you for your friendship. Your love of nature, gardening and crosss stitch are all the activities and things I love. I can't feel anything at the moment and for now can't enjoy them, so reading about it is comforting. I may get back there again. There is always hope. I will go to bingo tomorrow and hopefully may win 😊 Hope you also have another lovely day started off well with a nature walk. This I plan to do when I move. Sweet dreams my friend xx💕

@Former-Member Good morning. No I'm not in a good place at all, that's why I'm pushing hard to break through the darkness. It seems to be my life's experience really, pushing falling, sometimes giving up seems so much easier.

I hope your day at bingo goes well, winning, no matter how small the prize is always a thrill.

It must be so hard facing new challenges with your daughter, she's lucky to have you. She will realise it someday.

Yes my friend is very lucky to be facing her first bout of depression so late in life. I haven't seen her for awhile and giving her a break in case she needs to be one her own for a bit. Hard to know what the right thing to do is.

Its freezing down here, snow, wind and rain, typical spring weather.

I have a friend I contact by email who's also very depressed. She has three sons but they don't help at all. She's sorry she had them atm. Life is hard @Former-Member for so many of us.

Take care today. Thinking of you.

Hello dear @Maggie,

How was your day my dear friend? Hope it was a good one. Mine was a mixed bag but a much better one than Yesterday. I was exhausted and slept well last night which made a big difference with my energy levels and ability to cope today. So today I felt better. And guess what - I won!!! Not the actual bingo but the raffle at the end which was the biggest paying prize. Paid $1 and won $40!!! Just before they called it I said to my friend "I am going to win this one - and I did haha". My winnings the last few weeks has nearly covered the whole cost of my cross stitch angel framing - so I am over the moon and grateful 😊

My daughter has been away for a few days. I tried talking to her saying to her "please do not allow others to disrespect you or for you to disrespect them so your life can improve and that I love you". And similar. She seems to appreciate what I say and we hug, but I don't think it will make much difference yet to her (falls on deaf ears). She can't see the harm in what she is doing. The authorities are after her for money and I can't get through to her to address this and work something out with them. She is not normal that way and I hope she won't end up in jail. We have been told in no uncertain terms "to not bail her out" and not pay her bills/fines etc or she will get worse and keep being irresponsible/using us. So I have to hope somehow she works it out. I am coping better with it because I know I have done my best.

Gee it sounds cold in Tassie. It has been cold for Sydney weather here today as well. I am not too concerned as I would rather this than it getting too hot too soon. It won't be long until the humidity and heat waves hit again no doubt.

I am glad you are psuhing through the darkness and going for walks, gardening and cross stitching etc. It really does make our lot better when we give it our best shot. Giving up just results in falling in the pit deeper and makes for misery I have found. The effort we put in pays off in the long run.

It is hard to know what to say or do when a friend is depressed as your friend is - I know with me if someone knows I am depressed and doesn't ring or check in I begin to think they don't care. So I usually ring to see how they are or pop in for only a minute. I hope your friend feels better soon.

I hear that a lot too - teenagers or young adult children not pulling their weight. It's awful being taken for granted and used. Some boundaries have to be put in place and/or privileges lost. My daughter didn't respect these boundaries for years so she has to look for her own accommodation now. That is what it comes to if constantly disrespected. It's a tough old world alright. The good ones in it that bring some kindness, fairness, compassion and light into it are those who make it a better one. Thanks for your friendship and care @Maggie ❤️

@Faith-and-Hope

Its hard and sad when we have to leave friends, family and those things/activities we love behind when moving. It would be hard for the children this way too. The up side is you will be able to visit. And once you settle you will meet more friends through groups/activities you may choose to take part in. This is what I have found when moving to a new area (several times). In time we make a life again - and there will be that new coffee shop to experience and enjoy once again. Take heart. ❤️🤗xx

Thanks @Former-Member .... ❤️

Good morning @Former-Member You are doing well at bingo, and almost paid for framing costs is great. Maybe you should buy a lotto ticket!!!!

Well @Former-Member sometimes those steps forward get us into trouble it seems. Yesterday on my walk the ground was literally pulled from under me. Flat on my face.....splat!!!!! Now I have eight stitches in my nose which is twice its size and blue, and a brused forehead!!! Yes you can laugh, I can now, just pleased no one was around. My dr says to take a few days off but to keep going, says walking is one of the best things to do for depression. I will continue later in the week, today I feel like I've been hit by a truck, so a pj day I think.

My friend is doing ok. She makes things bigger than they are, a drama queen, so I've learned to water things down before getting myself tied in knots. I used to, and it took a bit of learning, but I think I've got it now. She and her sister are the centre of the universe, it's just the way it is. I just do all I can, I can do no more than that.

The advice about not bailing your daughter out seems good. I know it must be so hard but she has to grow up and take responsibility for herself and what she does, we all do. The trouble with us is we've been there all our lives getting people out of situations, but they have to do it so they can stand on their own two feet.

You have a life to live, you know you've done more than your best, that's good enough. Don't let go of your dreams. Just imagine the sea breeze on your face.....the walks with the sound of the waves coming and going..the smell of the sea. Then the garden waiting to blossom, and the smile it brings to your face and others passing by. I can see it now, can you ????????

Hope you have a good day. Thinking of you, warm hug.

Oh @Maggie, not laughing at all - that could of been very nasty having a fall like that. I am glad that no serious damage occurred and that you are okay. We definitely are kindred spirits.

I agree with your GP about walking, it does help with depression.

I now see the bigger picture with your friend. I would react the same as you.

Thank you for confirming that I too have a life to lead and deserve some happiness. It's just so hard to see with what my daughter is putting me through. You describe my dream so well - I am visualising it. And that does uplift me, thank you. You are wise. I do think what we visualise and work towards we can create somehow. Obstacles are always thrown in my path to the extent that sometimes I forget how to dream. Thank you for helping me to see it again. 😊

If not for my daughter I would not be not feeling the way I do I believe, and would be free from depression to a large extent. I have overcome much in the last five years and have come along way - the breakdown I had no one thought I would come back from. But daughter is a real worry and it is holding me back from moving to the ultimate place mentally that I want to be at. And I am concerned for her happiness and welfare equally. I just can't see a way forward with her so I just have to have faith it will work out somehow as you are right - I have done my best.

Free will sometimes creates the greatest grief - my daughter is her own worst enemy. I can't see her surviving on her own - so not sure how I will step back, but I must 😔 What an emotional dilemma. Wish I was harder in that way. I am a nurturer and it's very hard to hold back for me. But by doing so I am holding her back and myself back now I think.

Hope your day is shaping to be a good one. How is the progress on the cross stitch? I wanted to do some myself today but a headache is preventing that. Just taking it easy before I throw myself into the volunteering tomorrow. Hope you are taking it easy. Hugs 🤗 xx