-Enigma-

Thank you @Shaz51 😊 Hope all is going well with you

Hi @Owlunar - I didn't know that you were in the army? So was my husband for many years and served in active warfare. He is practical like you too and likes order/cleanliness. Made me pick my act up lol. Terrible the things he endured in war. Your cooking sounds delicious. Last night I made a coconut curry and rice with nan bread and then for desert we had strawberries and blueberries with some lite custard and cream. Very nice. Hope your day is turning out good for you.

Hello lovely @Maggie How are you today my friend. You are no slob my dear, most of the time I wear jeans and tops or leg-ins and long tops. The most comfortable. The other clothes I wear when going somewhere or when the mood grabs. I dyed my own hair again with salon dyes yesterday. It came out a nice light copper red/brown. Gives me a lift.

My husband had his cancer injection and a cancer cut out yesterday - always seems to be having the latter done. So he was in quite a bit of pain. My injuries have taken a marvellous turn around, I am hardly in any pain now and doing so much more. So am feeling more upbeat now as a result. My husband was even bewildered by such a turn around. But I am down about my volunteer work. Apparently they are thinking me too fragile to do any extra work there. If I keep getting knocked back I will look elsewhere to volunteer. I am starting to feel in the "useless" category to offer anything and it's really getting me down.

I am going to do some more cross stitch today, then tonight we are going to the community centre boardladies anniversary dinner. She is a good person but they are not understanding my needs. Should be interesting as I am not feeling valued or needed there anymore. People just say "be a lady of leisure", play golf, lunch out, swim in the surf/pool, play bingo etc. But I need more in my life. I think you would understand this @Maggie.

What are you doing today?

Feeling so aimless and pointless. Not seeing the point of this existence anymore. I don't trust anyone and no one needs or values me. Feeling very depressed and those are the thoughts. Feeling irrelevant and wondering if I am just here to suffer hurt, betrayal and uselessness. Don't see the point

Hi @Former-Member

I'm sorry to hear of the helplessness you're experiencing at the moment.

I'm not sure if something has happened to bring this on or not, but regardless, there are many people that care for and value you - both in here and by what you have shared before, your family - particularly your husband. You are far from irrelevant. The amount of support and connections you have provided just in this space, indicates to me that you are needed, valued and are making a difference in others lives.

You have been through so much - I can imagine that it would be easy for that to build up.

Do you have someone to speak to about this?

You're welcome to keep sharing here, but if things escalate, please reach out to one of the crisis services who can provide additional support

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636 or web chat

Thinking of you.

@NikNik 💕🌹❤️Thank you

We're here for you @Former-Member.

Thinking of you

we are here for you my friend @Former-Member

@Former-Member I am not going to write a long post here with any words from me. Instead I am going to give some of YOUR words to me back to you - ones given to me when I could see no point going on myself and you were able to help me see that little bit of light in the darkness...

"True we can't be happy all the time as that's life, but those happy moments make it worthwhile for me. I know what suffering is like, I know how it can seem endless and hopeless - but there is a light there I swear, as I am nearly there. I want you to feel it's warmth too so bad. My friendship is real...as is my love. You are special to me and always will be. It does take time, a life journey really, but it is so worth it ❤️❤️xx Baby steps".

...ditto from me to you @Former-Member

@Former-Member Hi there, I've been feeling all those things myself today and stayed away, but when I read your post I had to respond with the positives you've brought to my life. I just like you, your honesty and caring heart. You have pure empathy which I believe has come through deep suffering on your part. Depression seems to come in waves for no apparent reason other than the past heartbreaks. I'm here for you no matter what, and though your thoughts tell you that you're useless you are not. I hope your meeting goes well tonight, I'll be thinking of you, sitting by the candle with you, enjoying the company.

@Owlunar Hi there, my mother was like you, she never had a recipe book, just a bit of this and that and out comes a cake or meal. I didn't inherit her gift, always hated cooking. My idea of a meal is washing a potato, into the microwave, cover with thousand island dressing. Yum.

The army would have been an interesting disciplined life. How long were you there? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

Did you get those cookies made yesterday, or was it the day before, I seem to lose time?

I have someone coming today to look at putting up a fence to keep my fur baby safe. Will be good to get it done. I hope you have a good day @Owlunar whatever you decide to do.